Soul-Touched
by Muggle Jane
Summary: Life has been hard for Luna since the final battle changed her. It's about to get a whole lot more difficult. Rated M for mature themes (death, violence, sexuality)
1. Chapter 1

"Hello, Fred," I called quietly as I pushed open my front door. Fred was my unofficial flatmate and best friend, and had been for the better part of three years. He was usually there when I got home from work, and sure enough, this evening was no different.

He was sitting at my kitchen table as though he had nothing else to do but wait for me, a weary smile on his face when he saw me. "Hello," he replied. "You're late tonight."

"I know. I got caught up again, I think we might be getting close to something." Officially, I was unable to discuss my work with anyone outside of the people I worked with. Unofficially, the line of what I could and couldn't tell Fred was very blurry, especially since he sometimes worked with us. I closed the door behind me and stood there for a moment, studying him. "You look very tired," I remarked. "What happened today?"

"I went and saw George today." That explained it. Seeing George always made him feel just a little worse.

"How was it?"

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Frustrating. I wish he would talk to you." His frustration almost reached out and beckoned me to him.

"I know," I murmured. I slipped my shoes off and moved through the flat, placing my wand on the table when I got there. Not coincidentally, George had refused to speak to me since his twin had started staying with me. "He has too much pain in his heart, still."

He nodded, looking just a little helpless. "He's doing alright, though. And I got to see Lee for a little bit."

"That's nice." I settled myself down opposite him. "How long has it been since you've seen him?"

"A few weeks. He's been promoted and he's been pretty busy. I always told him he could run that place." Pride and frustration did battle in his brown eyes. "How was your day?"

"It was fine. Daphne wants to know if you can come back and work with us again on Friday." It was Tuesday evening

"Of course," he replied quickly. He loved coming to see me at work; I knew he thought Daphne was very pretty. And he got to 'speak' to her in a limited fashion, which he really enjoyed. "We should go out Friday night." He liked people-watching, too. His lips quirked into a sly smile. "Unless, of course, you have plans."

"You know better than that," I replied lightly, ignoring the flash of pain in my heart at the question.

The smile turned into a frown. "I don't know why."

"You do know why," I corrected softly, staring intently where my hands were clasped loosely on top of the table. "My reputation precedes me." My reputation hadn't grown any better since school- in fact I think it had got worse. I was used to living a very lonely life, but some days were harder than others.

"Luna..."

I squashed down my self-pity, and looked up into his frowning brown eyes. "I think my self-pity does me a disservice. Where would you like to go?"

"We could go to the cinema." I could still hear traces of guilt in his voice. He loved the Muggle cinema. He'd insisted I get a Muggle television, and had helped me work out how to run it without electricity, but going to the cinema was one of his favorite things in the world. He said it was because he got to pretend to be just like everyone else around him and forget what had happened. And it was one of the few places I could get out where there would be a concentration of people that I didn't end up with the feeling that my head was being split open from the inside.

"Choose something you want to watch, and we'll go as soon as I finish with work. Would you like me to ask Daphne to come with us?"

The sly smile was back, though with maybe just a bit more mischief in it. "Would you?" In addition to enjoying being around Daphne, going to the cinema with her meant that we could have a seat between us for him, and we wouldn't have to worry about anyone else taking it. That always made him just a little uncomfortable.

"Of course I would."

His face broke into a broad grin. "I could get someone else to come too, make it a double date."

He was teasing me again. I'd become quite used to the way Fred teased, but I answered him seriously anyway. He was only half-teasing, after all. "We all agreed that it would be best if it just stayed as you. Word spreads quickly; it could be very bad for everyone if this got around." Especially me.

"I know." After a moment, he gave me a rather pointed look. "Have you eaten?"

It was more a reminder to eat than a question as to whether or not I'd already dined. He knew me well enough to know that I probably hadn't. I had a habit of getting so wrapped up in my work that I forgot to eat. Fred had established himself as my keeper, though, and he made sure I ate at least twice a day when I was home. Sometimes, he came to my office in the early afternoon to check on me there, too.

I moved past him to get myself some food, and his hand brushed across my hip just for a moment. When I looked over my shoulder at him, he gave me cheeky wink in addition to the suggestive grin on his face. "Fred..." I wasn't complaining, not really. "You'd better be careful, or you'll fall out of the chair," I told him in a singsong voice. We'd had a conversation about his casual flirting some time ago. It genuinely made him feel better, and it was an ingrained part of his personality, so I didn't mind too much. I wasn't likely to get that kind of attention from anyone else, and I found it a little flattering.

"Worth it." In just a moment, he'd risen from the chair and was standing behind me, peering over my shoulder as I reheated a bowl of stew with my wand. "Stew again?" he asked.

"It has everything in it, and I can forget it for a little while and all it does it get thicker." I'd filled the flat with smoke from burned food on more than one occasion.

"That's what I'm here for."

I turned to give him a gentle smile over my shoulder. "You're not here all the time, are you?"

"Might as well be for all the interaction I get elsewhere." I could hear the frustration in his voice. His mood changed so quickly now, I wondered if he'd always been this way. His hand hovered at my side and I took it and squeezed it for just a moment before releasing him.

"I know you like seeing your family."

I heard the heavy sigh. "I do. I just wish..."

"I know," I told him quietly. "I do too." None of his family wanted anything to do with me. Even Ginny, who'd been an especially good friend to me before that final battle, she said that being around me hurt her too much, and she couldn't do it.

In fact, almost none of my former friends wanted much to do with me anymore. Hermione said things like, "I know you think this is real, but can't you see how much you're hurting them?" Harry just got that angry shine in his eyes and glared. Only Neville still talked to me, and I think that was partly because he felt guilty about what had happened to me. I didn't know why, it wasn't like there was anything he could have done about it.

"I should go," I heard from behind me.

I nodded. "Will you be back tomorrow?"

"Who else is going to make sure you eat your breakfast?"

I had to smile at that. "Goodnight, Fred." And then I was alone.

I took my stew and sat down at the table to eat. Almost three years ago- two years and ten months, to be more precise- I'd been sitting beside Neville in the ruins of the Great Hall at Hogwarts. A large chunk of the crumbling castle had fallen onto my head. Neville felt guilty, because he thought he should have thrown up a shield charm or something like that, but he'd just been through a lot, and I hadn't even had the presence of mind to do it. I certainly didn't blame him.

As a result of that hit, I'd lost consciousness for a moment, and when I woke up, I had seen Fred standing helplessly beside George, unable to do anything to comfort his twin. He was very dead.

I'd gone to him to talk to him and George had... Not taken it well. He refused to believe that I was able to talk to his recently deceased brother. I'd been taken away to St. Mungo's to ensure that my head injury wasn't too bad, and Fred had gone with me. Seeing George hurting so much hurt him, and he was fascinated with the fact that I could see and hear him when no one else could.

From then on, he'd stayed with me most of the time. It had been a little awkward when I'd returned to school to finish out my final year, but he'd been very helpful with my homework. I'd refused to let him help me cheat on my N.E.W.T.s.

I'd tried a few times to act as an intermediary between he and the living members of his family, but the rest of them hadn't taken it any better than George had.

After school finished, I'd become an Unspeakable. I was studying death. Fred... Fred was very dead, but he wasn't a ghost. Instead he'd managed upon something called a 'soul window,' and he could bring his soul back and forth between here and what was beyond the Veil. And when I'd been hit by the rogue piece of castle, it had knocked something loose so that I was able to see his soul. Everyone's soul, really, but everyone else kept their souls pretty close to their bodies.

He'd figured out how to focus himself into being corporeal enough that he could sit in chairs and stand on floors, and additionally to that, he could make small parts of himself corporeal for incredibly short amounts of time- just a few seconds. We'd tried that in an effort to get George to believe that he was really there, but I'd been accused of doing it myself and had almost been hexed on my way out of the shop. I think the only thing that had stopped George from hexing me at that point was that it might have completely destroyed the shop, and the one connection he still believed he had with his brother.

Every so often, Fred had to return beyond the Veil. He said it was something to do with recharging. If he didn't go voluntarily, he would just disappear for about a week. The first time it had happened, I'd been terribly worried about him. I'd been very relieved when I'd seen him again, sitting on my bed in my Ravenclaw dorm.

I'd almost been committed to the Janus Thickey Ward in St. Mungo's by my former friends at one point, but Daphne Greengrass, fellow Unspeakable, had interceded on my behalf. She was one of a handful of people who believed that I was actually communicating with Fred's soul and not just terribly injured in my brain. That was the last time I had seen most of the people I had used to consider dear friends. I didn't mention Fred to anyone else, anymore. At the top end of things, it was put on the same level as my former belief in nargles, at the bottom end it was seen as a cruel ploy for attention.

Daphne was my only other friend. Neville was pleasant towards me, but I didn't really count him as a friend anymore. We barely spoke, but he did smile when he passed me in the Ministry. That was better than the anger and hate. It frustrated Fred a lot, and I know he carried around a certain amount of guilt about it. It wasn't his fault, though, I was the one who had tried to talk to people about it.

I finished my stew and washed out my dishes, and then went up to bed. I'd come home late as I quite often did, and I was ready to just fall into bed and get some sleep. It was a little hard to fall asleep without Fred in the same room now, though. Most nights he stayed, sitting beside me in the bed and watching the television. He didn't need sleep, as least as far as I knew, but he knew I still had nightmares sometimes, and he liked to stay with me when I did. Most people didn't know that what had happened to me had affected me as much as it had. There had been some pretty horrible things enacted on my body. I hid them behind the pleasantness most of the time, but it can be hard to hide from things in your sleep.

I used my wand to flick the television on anyway, even through Fred wasn't there to watch it. I turned it down and left it on his favorite channel as background noise. It helped a little, but my large bed was still very empty. I'd tried to get a cat during one of his longer visits beyond the Veil to help keep me company, but it hadn't gone very well the next time Fred's soul had shown up, and I'd had to find the poor thing a new home where everyone's souls were firmly attached to physical bodies.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning and the first thing I did was look over to make sure Fred was there. He was, he was sitting on the bed and watching the television, and he glanced down at me when I looked up. "Morning." He gave me a tired sort of smile.

"Morning, Fred." I hadn't had any nightmares during the night, but it was still reassuring to see him sitting there in the dim light of the morning sun.

I slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom to have my shower. I was just getting out and drying myself off, when I thought I saw a flash of black in my fogged up mirror. I peered around, looking for what it could have been. I preferred brighter colors, the only black I had was on some of the cooking things in the kitchen. Fred could change what he was wearing with a thought, but he never wore black. He said it made him feel too dead.

"Fred," I called through the open door. I didn't bother closing the door most of the time. If he really wanted to get in, he could just go completely non-corporeal and go through the door, and when he was slightly corporeal, he found the doorknob tricky to manage. I hardly ever closed any of the doors in my flat.

He appeared behind me; I wasn't sure if he'd walked through the house or just appeared, but it didn't really matter. "Is everything all right?"

"Did you bring anyone here with you this morning?"

I saw him frown in the mirror. "No, of course not."

"I saw something black. It wasn't a living person." People who were still attached to their souls were like a visual echo. I saw their body, and then I saw their soul overlaid over their body. I heard them the same way, which was why I got a terrible headache when I was around large groups of people.

"A bird?"

I shook my head. I saw animals the same way. "I don't have anything black up here, either."

I saw his hand hover over my bare shoulder for a moment before he rested it there. Just a few seconds, and then the sensation was gone but I could still see his hand on my shoulder. It was fascinating to look at, and I stared until he spoke again. "Luna."

My eyes flicked up to meet his in the mirror. "Sorry."

There was a brief grin, and then his face settled back into a concerned frown. "Do you want me to stay around here today and see if anything turns up?"

I shook my head. "I'm not sure that you could do anything." It was a little unsettling. Fred wasn't the only soul I'd seen, although he was the only soul I'd seen since leaving Hogwarts after the last battle. "And it could be anything."

"We've just mentioned several things that it couldn't be, which leaves the most likely thing it could be as another person like me." I felt the touch on my shoulder again, the rough callouses on his fingers leftover from his dedication to his shop when he was alive. My gaze drifted down to it again. I've always thought that you could take the measure of a person in their eyes and their hands. Fred had intelligent eyes that flashed with mischief and capable, hard-working hands.

"With the lack of definite answers, there are still infinite possibilities."

His touch had gone again, and when I let my eyes slip away from focusing on his hand, I was surprised that his face had come down next to mine, almost resting on other my shoulder. "You don't really believe that anymore, do you?"

I shook my head. The war, the ability to see beyond death, and the reactions of those close to me as a result of both things had disillusioned me of quite a lot of the things I'd believed when I was innocent.

"You have that sad look in your eyes again," he observed. He was really quite observant of me; of my moods and the physical changes that happened when my mood changed.

I offered him a smile, but even to my own eyes, the girl in the mirror looked sad. "I miss... things."

"What things?" His tone was gentle, and I could see his brown eyes filled with tenderness.

"I miss not knowing better." I did feel his chin brush against my shoulder for the briefest of moments, and I relished the contact of skin against my own. "I miss that, too. I used to be able to store up on physical contact when I was on holidays, and then when I was a little older, I had friends who would touch me."

His frustration was an almost palpable thing, wrapping itself around me like a cloak. "I wish I could hold you."

"I do too."

"But if I could, you probably wouldn't let me in the bathroom with you while you were still naked." He was teasing, to cheer me up.

It worked, of course, it always worked. I smiled at him, happily this time, and there was an answering smile on his own face. But then, just a moment later, his mood changed. Uncertainty now, and the frequently-present guilt. "Are you sorry that things happened like this?"

He wasn't asking the question lightly, and I gave it the thought that the seriousness of it required. "I'm not." I shook my head. "I've never been as close with another person as I am with you, Fred. I am..." I considered his face for a moment, carefully choosing my next words. "I am uniquely-abled. I'm good with charms and transfiguration; I have a tenderness that makes me predisposed to caring for animals. I'm inquisitive and intelligent. But all of these traits could apply to any of a number of witches in Britain. Perhaps not in equal measure, or combined the same way, but there are others who share the same potential that I do. But instead of having to use the potential that others share and come up with a new path, there is one task that I alone can fulfill." I kept my eyes steadily on his. "It would be a dishonor both to who I am, and to the rest of our society, for me to do other than what I am doing."

I watched his arms come around me, the freckles standing out sharply against my pale skin. I couldn't feel him, but the girl in the mirror was being embraced, and I had to smile for her.

"With anyone else, I would think they were boasting."

"I'm not vain enough to think that I'm the only person who can see and hear souls. I am, however, the only person who can see and hear souls who is in the position I'm in." I paused. "I do wish it wasn't so lonely, but it does no good to dwell on the things we can't change." That was as much a reminder for myself as it was for him. Another short pause; I searched the depths of his eyes for the glimmer of humor that kept him going. "I'm not entirely certain that anyone would be coming into the bathroom while I was still naked if things hadn't gone the way they have."

He gave a short chuckle. "I don't know about that, you're quite... you know." His expression turned into an appreciative leer. "All of you, I mean."

I was smiling again as well. "But very odd. If it wasn't souls, I think it would still be nargles. At least you exist." I carefully reached forward to pick up my brush. "I should get ready for work." I could simply move through his incorporeal arms and brush my hair, but that always seemed like the height of rudeness to me.

His arms dropped, releasing the girl in the mirror, and he stepped away enough to give me the room I needed to brush out my hair. "Do you want me to stay around here today?"

"What were you going to do?"

"Go and see my baby brother. It was his birthday at the beginning of the month and I missed it." Fred found it difficult to keep track of larger units of time. He didn't like me to tell him when things were out of the stubborn belief that he could do it himself.

"You should see Ron. He's 21 now." On all of his family members' birthdays- or as close to it as he remembered- he would go to them and leave them some sort of message.

"Can't believe the little tosser is older than I am, now." His hand came out and brushed over my hip, and then he moved out through the door, likely on his way down to the kitchen.

I finished getting ready and went down to the kitchen, where Fred was waiting at the kitchen table. I got myself some breakfast and sat down with him. "Please remember to look at the cinema for something you want to watch."

He nodded. "I'll be back this evening." Then he was just gone, vanished in front of my eyes. As soon as he was gone, a flicker of movement pulled my gaze to the hallway. When I focused on it, though, there was nothing there. I frowned at the empty space, but nothing happened.

I finished eating, then flooed into the Ministry. I went immediately down to my office. No one greeted me on my way down, though I passed quite a few people. That, of course, was due to my reputation.

Daphne's office was one over from mine and her door was open. She'd finished school the year before I had, and was officially my superior instead of my partner. Things worked a little differently on level nine than they did in the rest of the Ministry, though, and her being my superior only meant that she was in charge of making sure the reports of my work were filed correctly and sent on properly when they needed to be. Being an Unspeakable was a very self-motivated, self-directed job. I think Hermione would have done well on level nine.

I knocked briefly on the door before stepping inside. She looked up from her desk at me. "Morning, Luna."

"Good morning, Daphne. I spoke with Fred last night, he said he'll come and work with us on Friday."

"Excellent." She gestured to the seat across the desk from her, and I went and sat down. "How is he?"

"Frustrated, feeling guilty, and happy. Usually within quick succession."

"Typical Fred, then." She nodded, her deceptively dainty hand manipulating the quill she was holding to make some notes.

"He wants to know if you'll come to the cinema with us on Friday, after work."

"Does he?" She had a shy smile on her lips, and the glint in her green eyes told me that she was as interested in him as he was in her. "What does he want to see?"

"I'm not sure, he's going to choose something today."

"I'd love to. Then we can go out for dinner."

I hesitated for a moment. "There's something else."

My tone made the smile slide off of her face. "What is it?"

"I think there was another soul at my flat this morning." I folded my hands loosely in my lap as I regarded her.

Her mouth smoothly continued its downward motion until she was wearing a frown. "Are you certain?"

"No. But I saw something where nothing should have been. Not long enough to get a good sense of it, just colors and glimpses. But it wasn't a living person, and it wasn't an animal."

"It wasn't Fred moving things?"

I shook my head. "He was in the other room when it happened, and then he was gone when it happened again."

"Do you want to stay here tonight?"

The Death Chamber was enchanted to prevent bodiless souls from coming in. It kept the souls from coming back through the archway, and it meant that when Fred came to work with me, we had to keep ourselves in my and Daphne's offices.

I shook my head again. "I have such a hard time sleeping alone now. Thank you, though."

"If that changes and you need to, you just come here. I'll write up a memo and send it around so everyone else knows that you might be there."

"Thank you," I repeated. The biggest reason we had decided that Fred was the only soul who should know about me was that, if others did, I might not ever get a moment's peace. Given Fred's drive to try and make contact with his family through me, it was a reasonable assumption that others would do the same. Taken with the fact that I could see them and hear them, they had the ability to make my life quite miserable by denying me peace and sleep, if they so chose. I'd been very lucky that it had been Fred that I'd approached after the battle, as there had been other souls around, and they might not have been quite so understanding.

I stood up. She was writing out a message on the distinctive purple memo paper. "I should go and get started for the day."

Her voice called me back from the doorway. "Are you all right?"

"A little lonely, that's all." I counted Daphne as one of my friends, but she had been raised in a way that meant casual physical contact wasn't exactly comfortable for her, which made it uncomfortable for me. "I'm feeling sorry for myself today, I'm afraid I wasn't able to shake the feeling before I came into work."

Her eyes flashed with sympathy. "Is there anything I can do?"

I shook my head. "I might go and visit my father after work."

"Take Fred with you, if you go." It was a concerned request, but it was still an order.

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! :D This is a lot heavier than what I normally write, so updates will probably be sporadic.**


	3. Chapter 3

I did ask Fred to go with me to visit my father. His expression grew very concerned. He knew that it was difficult to see him, but visiting him often brought me some measure of peace.

He attached his soul to mine so we could Apparate into London. It was the queerest feeling, and I can't quite describe it. It was like I had Fred inside me, between my soul and my skin, both under my skin and outside of it. It was a smothering sort of foggy feeling, but it was the only way I could travel that he would be guaranteed to come with me, and I needed the support.

We passed through the lobby of St Mungo's and up to the fourth floor. This was the other place I saw Neville, when I saw him when he was visiting his parents. I didn't care to go out into the places habitually occupied by wizarding society too often, it gave me such a frightful headache. I did most of my shopping at a 24-hour Muggle grocery just to avoid crowds of people.

Fred had separated himself from me and was walking along beside me. I felt the brush of his hand on my own as often as he dared, giving me all of the physical comfort he could.

My dad lived in the Janus Thickey Ward. The charge nurse let me in with a warm smile. She'd been there for a long time, she knew who I was on sight. "Good evening, Luna. He's having dinner right now."

I had a genuine smile at that. His soul was always more attached to him when he was eating. He's always loved good food, and they made sure he had his favorites here. They'd asked me when he was admitted, they said it was the least they could do for him.

I gripped Fred's hand for just a moment before passing through the door into my dad's room. He was sitting on his bed, clean and shaven and dressed in some pajamas from the hospital. There was a nurse sitting in a chair beside his bed, guiding spoonfuls of food patiently into his mouth. She smiled when she saw me as well. "Look, Xeno, your daughter is here to see you."

His gray eyes, so like mine, moved from her face to mine and there was a spark of recognition. His soul clarified for just a moment, and then it was back to the visual static it usually was. Normally when I saw living people, I saw their soul as a sort of visual echo overlaid on them. With people with this type of mental infirmity- people like my dad, and Neville's parents, and Mr Lockhart- their souls were distorted, some of them almost to the point of obscuring their physical bodies. They were half here and half gone, anchored by a body that didn't completely house them anymore. I believed, and Fred believed, that most of them would be better if they were truly dead. Then they could pass beyond the Veil and have a complete life as a soul instead of this trapped half-existence.

They differed. The Longbottoms had more physical control, but their souls were more obscured. My dad had very little autonomous control over his body, but his soul was more present, to the point where it matched up with him completely sometimes.

I stood aside and watched the nurse finish feeding him. "Thank you," I told her softly as she gathered the tray and left.

"I hope you have a pleasant visit," she bade me on her way out. She left the door open.

I went and sat down on my dad's bed. His soul was flickering in and out, and when I took his hand, there was a moment of completeness where he smiled at me. That's what I came for. Those smiles, those warm, affectionate smiles that made me remember all of the times he'd kissed my scraped knees and hunted down nargles with me.

"Hello, Daddy," I said, while he could still hear me and recognize who I was. "Fred came with me to see you today."

His eyes fastened over my shoulder where Fred was. That was the thing about this existence they lived in, they could see the other souls, too.

"Hello, Mr Lovegood," Fred said softly, bringing another smile to Dad's face.

"Are you taking care of her?" His soul's mouth moved, but his physical mouth didn't. His body was incapable of speech now.

"As much as I can."

His eyes flicked to me again. "Love yo-" and then he was gone again, lost in the field of visual static that buzzed and pulsed like a swarm of bees.

A lone tear made its silent path down my face. Fred caught it on the tip of one finger, brushing it away. His hand lingered on my cheek, longer than it ever had before. "I'll have to go tonight," he whispered, and I nodded. Making himself more corporeal so often took a lot out of him and he had to go and do the recharging thing.

It wasn't too long after that, that we left the room. I stopped in to see Mr Lockhart. Of all of the occupants of the Janus Thickey Ward, he was perhaps the only one who would not have been better off dead. His soul was almost all there, just slightly offset; it was like he'd gotten a new soul and it just didn't quite fit in his body yet. He was so happy whenever he got visitors, though, and he loved talking to Fred. His mood was infectious, which was why I always visited with him right after I visited with my dad.

At last, Fred told me that we should get down to the cafeteria so I could eat before I went home and he left me for the night.

When I turned to leave, Neville was standing in the door, watching us. How long had he been standing there? He had a very odd expression on his face. "Mr Lockhart," he said, drawing our former professor's attention to him. "How many people are in this room?"

"Counting?" Mr Lockhart's eyes lit up. "I love counting. I have all these marvelous fingers, and they match up with the numbers just perfectly!" He pointed to me and held up one finger on the other hand. "One." He pointed to Fred and held up a second finger. "Two." He pointed to Neville and held up a third finger. "Three!" He looked very impressed with himself.

"You are quite good at counting," I assured him, and he beamed.

"Did you forget yourself?" Neville pressed, the odd expression still on his face.

"I count myself? Oh, there's a finger for me, too!" He held up a fourth finger, and then methodically counted them. "One, two, three, four!" He beamed at Neville, who offered a funny sort of smile in return.

"Goodnight, Mr Lockhart." It was the second time I'd said it. "We'll come back and visit soon."

"Goodnight, Luna. Goodnight, Fred." The first few times I'd been to see him, he got upset when we left because he didn't get many visitors, and he didn't like being alone. I could certainly empathize with that. Now, though, he was used to the idea that we would be back to visit him and he didn't get quite so sad.

We left the room, Neville held the door open for us. "Luna, do you have a minute?"

I looked at Fred, and then back at Neville. "We're- I'm going down to the cafeteria to eat, if you'd like to join me," I offered politely.

Beside me, Fred looked dubious. I knew he was worried about what Neville might do. He didn't say anything, though.

We went down to the bottom floor, and Neville and I both got food. Out of habit, I pulled an extra chair out so that Fred could sit at the table with us, then realized what I'd done at the odd look Neville gave me.

"Do you really see him?" he asked after a moment.

I was the only one in the room that heard Fred's short, incredulous laugh. It made me smile, though, Fred's laugh was very infectious. "I do. I have for the past... Almost three years."

Neville nodded. He didn't say anything else, just concentrated on eating for a moment, so I did as well.

Fred looked between the two of us, and seemed satisfied with what he saw from Neville. "I'm going to leave now. I'll be back in the morning, all right?" His words made me relax a little. Needing to recharge or not, he wouldn't leave me if he didn't trust Neville to not try and commit me to the very ward we'd just left.

"Goodnight, Fred," I murmured to him. And then he was gone. I turned my attention back to the tall, blond man opposite me. "I see all of them. I see yours right now, like you're wearing a second Neville just on top of you."

He paused, staring intently at his food for a moment. When he looked up, there was a strong purpose in his brown eyes. "Do you see my parents?"

I sighed and it was my turn to look away. I stared down at my own plate of food. "I don't know that you're going to want to hear this." I paused. "After how I've been treated, I don't trust that you're not going to rush out of here and call for a Healer to insist that my mind isn't healthy."

Out of the top of my field of vision, I saw him flinch. "We can go somewhere else, if you'd like," he offered quickly. He was intent on getting the information he now knew that I had. He wanted to know. "We could go to your home. We can go to work."

He was an Auror, he worked out of the Ministry just the same as I did. My office was safe for me, I could lock it to the outside world and there was no way for another physical body to get in or out without my explicit, coherent consent. My home was enchanted in much the same manner. Being an Unspeakable meant that I had secrets that needed to be protected at all costs.

"You can come home with me."

We finished eating in complete silence and went out of the hospital, out into Muggle London. I offered him my hand, and after a moment, he took it. I Apparated us to just outside my building.

He followed me up to my flat with a grace that he hadn't possessed until he'd become an Auror and had some formal training in it.

The lights came on when I entered. I toed off my shoes and passed through into the kitchen. "Would you like some tea?" I asked politely. I was going to have some, whether or not he said yes.

"Yes, please."

I made a cup of tea for each of us and then settled my pale green tea service on the table in front of him. "Why were you there tonight?" I asked him.

"It's my mum's birthday. I try to visit on their birthdays and at Christmas." He took his tea and held it uncertainly, like he was afraid there was something in it that was going to come out and bite him. Perhaps that was just his expectation of the words he dreaded that were going to come out of my mouth, though. "What is it, Luna?"

I sighed. I held out my hand and, after a moment, he placed his into it. I knew that people liked to be touched when they received unpleasant news, it helped them feel as though they weren't alone. And it was, quite honestly, a partially selfish move on my part. I needed to feel the touch of someone who was present with me, who wasn't going to slip away in a moment or two. "They're mostly gone. Their bodies are trapping their souls here, like a prison."

He flinched again, and I squeezed his hand. He bowed his head, I think so that I wouldn't see his tears. He looked completely defeated.

"My dad comes back sometimes. He'll talk to me for a moment or two, and then he's gone again. Your parents..." I sighed again. "I've never seen them come back. I haven't spent a lot of time around them because it's hard for me to see them like that, and it's especially hard for Fred. There's still something there, like the part of your mum that takes the sweets from you. But there's not enough there for them to really be people."

"I know you're an Unspeakable. I know you can't talk about it. But are you at least... Looking to see if you can help them? Can you at least answer that?" His eyes came back to mine. He had caring eyes, tender eyes; right now his eyes were full of hurt.

I nodded. "I know how to help them," I whispered.

"What is it?"

I shook my head. "You were that night. You saw when..." I couldn't tell him anymore. I looked at him helplessly, urging him to understand the things I couldn't say, the things he was afraid of. "I'm a bad person, Neville."

He peered at me sharply. "Why would you say that? After everything that everyone else has done to you, why would you say that?"

"Because my dad comes back sometimes. I could... I could do what I need to do, and I think it would be better for him. I don't, though." I could feel the sting of tears again and I stared back into his pained gaze, almost defiantly. "Sometimes I just want to go there and have him hold my hand and tell me he loves me. Sometimes I just want the touch of someone who cares. I hope that when he stops coming back, I'll be able to stop being so selfish."

I pushed away from the table and stood up, pulling my hand free from his grasp. I turned my back, crossing to the small mirror that hung just beside my door. I stared into it without really seeing my reflection, wishing that Fred was there so at least the girl in the mirror could have some comfort.

"Is it allowed?"

"What?"

He'd stood up as well, I heard him walk over to me. "Is it allowed?" he asked from just behind me. "Would you get in trouble?"

I looked into his eyes in the mirror and gave a sad sort of smile. "Normal laws don't apply to us. As long as we all agree that it's to the benefit of the... soul, it can be done. There's a lot of paperwork to fill out, and an interview with us... It's a process, but it's not illegal."

"Would you do my interview?"

I shook my head. "I'm the witness for the soul."

"You've done it, then?" His hand reached up to cover my shoulder and it was a little strange that I was able to feel the same thing I was seeing. It wasn't just the girl in the mirror, it was... Me.

"Just once. There was someone from Azkaban..." I stopped talking. I'd said as much as I could, likely even more than I was supposed to. I lifted my eyes to his from where I'd been staring at his hand. "There's a moment of peace. It's beautiful, Neville. It's beautiful to see."

"Would I be there to see it?"

"If you wanted to be."

"Does it make me horrible that I'm even considering this?"

I shook my head. "They're not there, anymore. And they can't move on. I understand not wanting to do it, perhaps more than anyone else, but I think it is a cruelty of sorts not to."

His other hand came up to my other shoulder and he turned me to face him. "I'm sorry," he told me, his brown eyes intense and earnest. "I'm sorry we left you alone."

"You can't apologize for anyone else," I corrected him gently. "And I have Fred."

"I'm sorry for my part in it." His arms came around me and he folded me against him. I froze, like an animal caught in the light at night. "How long has it been since someone held you?"

"I don't want to answer that." The truth was, it had been about a year and a half, and then it had been by a Muggle I'd come across in a pub for a one-off. I went through a short period of being free with my body in an effort to have physical contact with others. It hadn't lasted very long, though, before I had to stop because of the way it made me feel. Before that, it had actually been Neville in the hospital when they were looking at the injury to my head.

He took my wrists and wrapped my arms around his waist, urging my cheek gently into his shoulder.

My fingers closed on the back of the long overcoat he wore as an Auror, clutching him tightly to me. It wasn't just the girl in the mirror being held, comforted. It was me. Someone was holding me as though I was important to them. Silent tears leaked from my eyes again, wetting the front of his shirt, where his coat was open.

Time stopped as he held me against him. Everything else faded away. He was the only one who would touch me and I was the only one who understood his pain, and just for a while, that made us the only two people in the world.

Eventually he left. He told me that he would talk to me soon, and he was sincere about it. When I went upstairs to sleep, I was so exhausted from the emotions of the day that I fell asleep quite quickly, despite being alone. I didn't even manage to get the television on before I drifted away on my dreams.

**A/N: I wanted to write something else instead, but I can't seem to stop working on this. Thank you for the reviews! *heart***


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing I did when I woke up was to look over for Fred. The man on the bed beside me had red hair; he was the same general shape and size as my best friend, but... "You're not Fred."

"Ah, she awakens." His voice was just a touch deeper, he was older than the man I was used to waking up beside.

I stared at him. "I've never seen you before, not even at that battle at Hogwarts."

"You wouldn't have." His brown eyes held the same intelligence, the same glint of mischief. There was a strong resemblance between the two, but... He wasn't Fred. "I was long gone by then." He paused, looking down at me. "You really do see me," he marveled.

"It wasn't you here yesterday, though." He was wearing the Auror's overcoat, and there wasn't a bit of black on him anywhere.

"I'm afraid that was me." A new voice, an elegant tenor, pulled my attention to the doorway. A tall man with black hair stood there, an apologetically mischievous smile on his face. I'd seen that man before, on the night his soul had left his body. "It's difficult to hide from you." He looked much better than he had the last time I'd seen him; he looked healthy and well-fed. Then again, Fred didn't look very squashed from the wall he'd been killed by, so it made a certain amount of sense.

"Where is Fred?"

"He's... He's where he needs to be," came from the redhead next to me. He sounded very self-satisfied indeed.

"And who are you?"

Sirius Black cleared his throat. "I am neglecting my manners, my mother would have a fit. Luna, this is Gideon Prewett." He paused. "Fred's uncle, if that means anything." He winked at me. I'd never been winked at before. "And thus, introductions made, I must be off." And then he was gone, just vanished like Fred did, and I was left alone with... Fred's uncle, Gideon.

"Why are you here?" I asked the remaining man, pulling myself into a sitting position.

He looked at me, his eyes focused distinctly lower than my face. "Are you naked?" That wasn't an answer to my question.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

He pulled his eyes away from my body, apparently with some difficulty, and turned his back on me. "You go about naked in front of my nephew as a matter of habit?"

"I don't see any reason why not to; he's seen everything." He was with me in St. Mungo's when they removed my clothes and put on the hospital gown. "It doesn't bother him at all. Does it bother you?"

"Have you no modesty?"

"It's my home." He did seem actually bothered by it, and it made me curious. "Should I not be comfortable in my own home when I go to sleep?"

"You're comfortable being so in the company of a strange man?"

"Company that I didn't ask for, nor did I have any warning that you were coming. If you didn't want to see me thus, perhaps you should have notified me that you were going to be here." I blinked at the back of his head. "You have a great talent for avoiding answering questions, sir."

"Gideon," he said, maybe a little too forcefully for pleasant conversation.

"Why are you here, Gideon?"

"My nephew and Sirius believe that you shouldn't be alone."

"Why not?"

He turned back to look at me, keeping his eyes trained carefully up towards my face. "Fred mentioned that you have nightmares, and that perhaps you're not quite so prudent in taking care of yourself as you could be."

"Right on both counts, I suppose." I considered him for a moment. "It's my home. I'm not going to make myself uncomfortable in my own home for your especial benefit. If that doesn't suit you, then perhaps this isn't a place you should be."

He stared at me. "What happened to you that you feel you need to assert yourself like this?"

I didn't answer, just got out of bed and went into the bathroom to have a shower. When I was done, I got out and stared into the mirror. I kept expecting Fred to appear behind me, to soothe the troubled expression from the girl in the mirror. He didn't, though, and her expression remained the same as she brushed out her long blond hair.

Gideon was waiting for me when I went into the kitchen to have breakfast. "What happened, Luna?"

"I don't talk about what happened," I told him in a singsong, pulling the pitcher of pumpkin juice out of the fridge for myself. Toast sounded good enough, and I set about making some on the magical range that graced one of my counters.

"Fred mentioned... He said that you've been alone for the past three years, except for him."

"I have. One of my friends spoke to me last night, though. Touched me. That was nice." I smiled at the memory. Neville had always been kind to me.

He shook his head, regarding me. "What happened?" He wasn't asking about what had happened with Neville, and I got the distinct impression that he wasn't going to let this go.

"You were in the war, weren't you? Fred's mentioned his uncles- Mrs Weasley's brothers- and that they died in the war. That's you, isn't it? The first war, I mean." I watched him nod. "Were there prisoners in your war? Did Voldemort and his Death Eaters take prisoners?"

I watch comprehension dawn on his face, and then a great frown pulled his expression down. "It was rare that they took prisoners instead of killing."

"It was. There were... four of us." I shook my head, looking directly into his brown eyes, so like Fred's. "I don't talk about it, Gideon."

"That happened, and then you were alone after that?"

I nodded, tearing off a corner of the toast and putting it in my mouth. It seemed to stick in my throat a little, and I put the toast back down on the counter. "Except for Fred. He's been my best friend." I finished the pumpkin juice and stood up. "I need to go to work now. I floo there. I work... I work somewhere you won't be able to follow. You can come into the office, but the Chamber itself is enchanted against souls that aren't attached to a physical body. I'm going to be in there today. Can you bring Fred back, please?"

He was frowning again. His mouth seemed better suited to the same mischievous grins that Fred wore, but he was very good at frowning. "I can't. There are things that he needs to learn."

"Will you be here when I get home?" He nodded. "Perhaps we can talk then. I have questions for you, and you may have some for me that I'll answer." I turned from him and flooed to the Ministry without giving him the opportunity for a more complete response.

Neville caught up to me as I was headed to the lifts, almost like he had been waiting for me. He caught my wrist and turned me to face him. "You all right?" he asked, his eyes scanning my face.

"I'm not," I replied honestly. "Fred's gone."

"What do you mean?" He was frowning; I was getting an awful lot of frowns that morning.

"He went back last night, he had to. This morning there was someone else waiting for me in my bed." I made sure to keep my voice pleasant and even, but still my words were drawing attention of those passing by.

Neville glanced around us. "Let's go and see Daphne," he said, shifting his grip to my hand and urging me towards the lifts. "Your hands are like ice."

"It's an automatic response. When I feel like this, my blood leaves all of the far away places in my body."

We were down on level nine soon enough, and Neville was leading me gently towards Daphne's open office door.

Daphne scowled up at Neville. "What is it, Longbottom?" She failed to notice me standing just beside him, until he drew me gently in front of him. "Luna, what happened?" Her voice was considerably softer now.

"Fred is gone. Someone else is there, his Uncle Gideon. I miss Fred."

She stared at me thoughtfully, tapping an immaculately manicured finger against the paper on her desk. After a moment, her eyes flicked back to Neville. "I don't mean any particular offense by this, but what are you doing here? The last time I saw Luna with any of her old friends, I was explaining to the Director of St. Mungo's why she couldn't be admitted into the Janus Thickey Ward."

"I believe her, all right? I believe that she's been talking to the ghost of someone who died three years ago."

"Soul," I corrected absently. "It's his soul. Different than a ghost."

Neither one of them seemed to be paying me any attention. "That's why I brought her down here."

"Fred won't be able to work with us tomorrow, I don't think." Again, neither one of them seemed to pay me any mind.

"What brought this about?" she asked, folding her hands on the desk in front of her. It was her serious expression, it was what she did when she was preparing for a verbal altercation.

"I saw her last night, talking to Mr Lockhart. And he was talking to her, and he was talking to Fred. And it wasn't anything she was doing, I could tell. Mr Lockhart was just... Talking like there was someone else in the room that he was having a conversation with." Neville was talking about me like I wasn't there- they both were. People did that sometimes, it was all right.

"You were at St. Mungo's?" Her green eyes refocused on me. "_You_ were at St. Mungo's?"

"I went and saw Daddy." I'd told her that I was going to, had she forgotten?

"Of all the days for Fred to disappear..." Her eyes closed for a long moment, her sign of exasperation. "Luna, are you all right to work?" she asked when she opened her eyes again. She was making her voice be more patient than she wanted to, I could see it in the set of her shoulders and the shadow in her eyes.

I considered the question. "I'm not entirely certain. Part of me just wants to go into the Chamber and sit there for a while."

"Right. That's fine, I'll let the department know." She turned her attention back to Neville, a speculative look in her eyes. "And I'll let Robards know that we need to borrow you for the day."

I sensed, rather than saw, Neville's frown. "What do you mean?"

"Are you really going to abandon Luna again?" There was a fierce protectiveness to her question.

"O-Of course not."

"Then you're going to go into the Death Chamber and sit with her until she feels ready to come out."

"That's really not necessary," I protested.

She ignored me, instead addressing Neville. "She goes to see her father when she gets overwhelmed by the loneliness. It helps, but then the guilt eats at her the next day. And today, instead of Fred being there for her, there's a strange soul, who she's quite worried will make demands of her that she won't be able to help with, and won't be able to get away from."

"Oh." He was silent for a short time. "What about you? Why can't you..."

Her green eyes flashed a warning. "My father fucked up how I perceive physical contact and interpersonal relationships. I'm working on it." Specifically, he'd used affection as a reward, and that was the only time he'd given it. We'd talked about it a long time ago.

I squeezed Neville's hand before I slipped away from him. "It's all right, Neville, I know you have other things to do." I turned and left the office, my feet automatically carrying me down the black-tiled hall, towards the bone-chillingly cold room with the arch in it.

I pulled my robes around me and settled myself on the floor, against one of the outer walls. The chill seeped up through my clothes, drawing the warmth from me in a particularly persistent way. The souls behind the curtain whispered to me, and I let the noise wash over me like a wave of comfort. They didn't know I was out here, just outside of where they could see.

The door opened and closed. It was a heavy door, it made quite a bit of noise. Neville walked over to where I was and looked down at me for a moment. "I brought a blanket."

"Thank you."

"Daphne said she'd bring lunch for you if you were in here for long enough."

"She's a good friend. I was a little surprised at first... But then I guess we're all different than we were in school." I looked up at him, letting my head fall back against the wall so I could look into his eyes. "You're different, Neville. You're more aware of yourself and who you are. It's a good change, I think."

He pulled out his wand and waved it, and a comfortable-looking chair appeared. He sat down and moved to one side so there would be just enough room for me. "Come and sit with me, Luna." He patted the space beside him entreatingly.

I got up and moved until I was seated as well, wedged between the side of his body and the soft arm of the chair. He rested his arm across the back of the seat so I had more room, and his other hand spread the blanket over our legs. "You've changed too."

"I have. Some of it for the better. Some of it not, I'm afraid."

We sat in silence for a time, and his arm slid down the back of the chair until it was resting squarely across my shoulders. "What happened to your dad?"

"The Death Eaters had him put in Azkaban for some of the things he printed. They took me first, of course, and then sent him a memory of..." I shook my head. That was one of those things I hid. "He's been a bit unstable since Mum died; it was too much for him. After the war finished, they transferred him from Azkaban right to St. Mungo's. They take good care of him there. He appreciates it, when he comes back enough to realize it. I wish he'd died, sometimes." I paused, my fingers twisting in the fabric of my robes. "Most of the time."

"I know." If there was one other person who would know exactly what I was talking about, it was Neville.

"Fred hasn't been there a whole lot, but from what he's told me, it's quite nice beyond the Veil. Infinite possibilities, he said."

"Why does he stay here, then? I mean... I didn't mean anything by that."

"I know." I gave him a reassuring smile that felt just a little bit stiff, like my cheeks didn't really feel like smiling. "He worries about George. That's what it was at first. Now, I think he worries about me. He's my best friend, but I think I'd describe our relationship as more, we depend on each other. I anchor him here so he can keep up with his family, and he makes sure I take care of myself."

"How do you mean?" He was concerned again.

"I'm a little dissociated from my body, I have a habit of neglecting myself. Some days are better than others, of course."

"Today is..."

"Not a good day."

Daphne brought us both lunch at the suitable time. She stayed and ate with us, and then left again. Around mid-afternoon, I was ready to leave. I stood and told Neville so.

He looked up at me, still seated. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Thank you for being with me. You didn't have to, no matter what Daphne said."

"I think this was more important than whatever Robards was going to have me do." He stood up as well, and banished the chair with another flick of his wand. "I think that trying to understand is the very least that any of us can do. Do you want me to come home with you tonight?"

I shook my head. "I think I'm going to have to talk to Gideon, and it's hard to talk to a soul when someone else is there and they can't hear half of the conversation. But thank you." I offered him a smile.

"You don't smile often enough anymore."

"I don't."

He walked me back to my office and told me he would see me again soon before leaving for an upper level.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hello," I called softly as I opened my front door. My floo was set to only allow people to leave through it, not enter, so every night after work, I had to Apparate outside my building and walk up.

The unfamiliar redhead walked into my kitchen. I wasn't entirely certain what he'd been doing all day, but now he was waiting for me. "Have you eaten dinner?" was the first thing out of his mouth.

It was late again; I'd spent some extra time in my office to make up for the time I'd spent sitting in the Chamber with Neville. I shook my head, and went and got myself a bowl of stew. He waited until I'd reheated it and sat down at the table before sitting across from me. He watched me eat a few bites before speaking. "You said you have questions for me."

I nodded, swallowing. "Where is Fred?" That was the most important thing. "Is he all right?" Along with that.

"He's beyond the Veil with friends and family. He's all right."

I was a little relieved to hear that. That was the best possible thing that could happen, save for him being the one sitting across the table from me. And that, it seemed right now, was an impossibility. "Why?"

"He's been dead for almost three years, and he hardly knows anything about being dead."

I stared into my stew for a moment, considering what that might mean. "What do you mean?" I finally asked.

"Things like going into people's dreams. Changing his reality beyond the Veil. This." He reached across the table and grasped my forearm. His hand and forearm completely disappeared. I could still feel it.

Moments passed. I could still feel it. I looked up at Gideon and he was wearing a very familiar sly smile. It was quite easy to see which side of the family Fred took after. "I don't..." I didn't have any words. I stared at my arm, where the sleeve of my Ministry robes had the faint outline of an invisible hand closed around it. This was such a change from seeing it and being unable to feel it. "I need to tell you something."

He pulled his hand back, and I was a little disappointed at the loss. I watched my sleeve go slack around my arm again in some fascination. "What is that?" he prompted me after a little while. I'd been staring.

I looked back up into his face, into those intelligent brown eyes. "I'm an Unspeakable. I study this- death. Fred works with me sometimes. Anything you tell me, I'm going to write down, and it'll be filed away in with the secrets of the Ministry."

His hand was visible again, resting easily on the table in front of him, and again I stared at it. His hands said so much. He'd comforted with his hands. He'd killed with his hands. "I see."

"What just happened? What did you just do?"

"I have a finite amount of presence. I can use that to be a visible presence, or I can use that to be a physical presence. Or some mixture of both."

"Like now." He nodded. "But why, when normally people can't see you?"

"The way I've heard it, there was a time where there were a great many souls on this side. We interact with each other the same way you interact with us. Sometimes we would want to be seen, and sometimes we would want to be felt."

"Can you be hurt?"

"Hurt? Yes. I have feelings, sensations. When I touched you just a moment ago, I could feel the texture of your robes. Killed?" He waited until I looked up into his face to answer. "No. I'm already dead, Luna. I've reached beyond death."

"How did you get here? Fred told me that when he comes through the soul window, he needs to know where he's going."

"Ah, that is a good question." The mischievous smile settled on his lips. "Sirius always has been quite good at sneaking around and finding his way into things. He followed Fred, then he brought me here." He gestured to my stew. "Finish eating."

I looked down at my rapidly cooling meal, then put all of my attention into finishing it. I was aware of him watching me eat, and I wasn't surprised. Fred liked to watch me eat. Souls didn't eat or sleep, although they did have to do that recharging thing, whatever it was.

When I was done, I automatically got up to wash out my bowl and spoon, and put them in the rack to dry. I turned around to face him, leaning back against the counter, my hands pressed between the edge of the counter and my back. "Could you kill a person?"

He'd turned in his seat to face me."No. When I was touching you, that was me touching your soul. You're still attached to it, of course, so you feel it physically. I could cause you pain, but I couldn't kill you." He frowned. "That's an odd question."

"Is it?" I thought for a moment. "When you touch me when you're like this, you're touching my physical body."

"Yes."

"Are you going to stay until Fred comes back?"

"I believe so." He watched me for a moment. "Would it be possible to visit with my sister?" I knew this was going to come up at some point. He was asking, at least, that was nice.

I sighed. "She didn't want to hear it when it was her son, I don't see that changing for her brother."

"My apologies," he offered, frowning again. The frown seemed directed at himself this time, though, instead of at anything I'd said or done. "Your face... There's a lot of pain around that subject."

"Do you remember what I said this morning about being alone? That's why. No one wants to believe that I can see the souls of people who've died." I considered it for a moment. "Then again, I suppose that's a good thing. I'm not sure I'm prepared for the onslaught of people on either side wanting me to get in touch with their family members." I'd had a lot of time to myself to consider that very thing.

"What does he do when he's here?"

"When I'm at work, sometimes he goes to visit with family, sometimes he comes to work with me. He watches television." I smiled a small smile. "He works on ideas for the shop he and George started, too. He's very creative." The smile slipped off my face. "He still believes that George will want to talk to him at some point."

"You don't think so?"

I shook my head. "The last time I saw George, he told me that if I ever tried to speak to him again, he would make it so that I could never speak again. He was quite sincere."

"We can enter dreams, you know."

"You said as much."

"All we need to do is be where someone is sleeping. If Fred hadn't been neglecting his lessons, perhaps this would already be solved." He looked at me evenly. "You wouldn't need to go in and see Molly, you know. Just take me to her house."

I considered him for a moment. "You know your sister. What do you think she would think if she saw me there today, and then tonight she had a dream with you in it? Would she think it was a coincidence- a product of her sub-conscious reacting with things we've talked about in the past? Would she believe you? Or would she think that maybe I had something to do with making her dream about you? No one knows what I do, Gideon. I don't want to have to defend myself against your family." Part of preparing to be an Unspeakable had included training in the use and application of certain spells to defend myself. The war had ended just three years ago, and I was still learning every day how much worse things could have been if Voldemort had decided to delve into any of the information contained in the Department of Mysteries. Thankfully, his ego had prevented him.

That look of frustration, I'd seen it often enough over the past three years. "I don't understand why no one will even entertain the idea of believing you."

"Mum died when I was nine. Daddy... Daddy started living in a world of his own making to help cope with her loss. I was a child, I believed him. Everyone who knows me has heard me speak about nargles and heliopaths, and I was quite sincere in my belief when I spoke about them. I imagine I'm equally as sincere now when I talk about Fred."

He was frowning again. "You are quite young, where is your father?"

"St. Mungo's. His mind is broken, and his soul is only with him for short periods of time." My voice was slipping back into the slightly distant pleasantness I hid everything behind.

He was watching me, I could almost see myself reflected in his brown eyes. "You're hiding. When you talk like that, your soul tries to hide itself inside your body."

Fred had never told me that. It explained why he was so perceptive about my emotions.

There was an angry-sounding knock at my door. I stared at it for a moment and pushed away from the counter to pick up my wand off of the table. I didn't want to answer my door. I didn't want to, but if I didn't it would be worse.

"Who do you think that is?" Gideon was frowning at the door now. He was quite good at frowning.

I was fairly certain I knew precisely who it was. I didn't get very many visitors. "Someone I used to call a friend."

"Are you going to answer it?"

The knock sounded again, more insistently this time.

I nodded. I walked over to the door and stood in front of it for a moment. I felt a touch against my shoulder, Gideon was just behind me. He wasn't Fred, but I did feel somewhat relieved that he was there. I sighed quietly and opened the door.

It was Harry and Hermione. Both looked equally displeased to see me. "Good evening," I bid them both quietly. "I'm certain you'll understand if I don't invite you inside." There was no danger of them forcing their way in, they very steadfastly did not have my coherent consent to enter.

"What did you do to Neville?" Hermione demanded, while Harry looked at me with that angry shine in his eyes.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean." My voice was so quiet that it was almost inaudible, even to myself. I desperately disliked these confrontations. It had been a long time since I'd had one. I couldn't blame them, though, they were just looking out for their friend.

"We know he spent most of the day down on nine, and now he keeps mentioning that he needs to make a decision about his parents. He's not happy, Luna. I know you did something, what was it?" The first time I had seen Harry, his eyes were full of pain. It had taken a long time for that to go away, and now his eyes were filled with a protective sort of anger.

"I told him the truth."

I could feel Gideon's hand steadily on the center of my back.

"When is it going to be enough? When are you going to stop hurting people with your lies? When it was wrackspurts, it was harmless. This isn't harmless anymore. You've hurt people, people you claimed to care about. You're still hurting people." There were tears in Hermione's compassionate eyes. She was worried for Neville, hurt for him. "Is this really the kind of attention you want?"

"I need to ask you to leave now." My wand was up, between us. "Please don't come back here."

"If I could, I'd have you in Azkaban right now. It's not right, what you're doing to these people. To us. We're your friends." Harry was still wearing his Auror's overcoat. He knew he couldn't arrest me, though.

"I don't think you've been my friends for some time now." It was a statement, but they reacted like it was an accusation.

"You've made it a bit hard, haven't you?"

"Do you want me to make them leave?" Gideon's voice sounded from just behind me. I felt him step into me, my back against his chest, and I stiffened. I hadn't expected it, and I had to push down a feeling of panic and suppress the scream that threatened to rip apart my chest. He quite quickly stepped away, but the question still hung in the air between us.

I shook my head. "I don't need rescuing." I sounded wild, afraid.

They, of course, thought I was talking to them. "If anything, you need rescuing from yourself," Hermione told me. There was a misguided sympathy in her eyes.

"Please don't come back," I repeated, gripping my wand tightly in an effort to keep my hand from shaking. My tone was firmer now. I closed the door on them, I couldn't stand in the door and listen to them disparage me anymore.

I couldn't do anything anymore. I turned to the mirror and stared into it, noting the haunted look on the face of the girl in the mirror. Gideon's face came into view over my shoulder, frowning again. "Your face looks like it's more used to smiling, but I've hardly ever seen you wearing one."

"I'm... sorry." He was frustrated with himself now.

"It's fine," I assured him, though the quiver in my voice told a different story. "I wasn't expecting you against me like that." I offered him a strange smile, my face quite unwilling to mold to the expression. "There are benefits to sharing space with someone who can't touch you quite so extensively."

I watched his hand lift up and hover over my shoulder for a moment before settling down. I felt the brief touch through my Ministry robes, just for an instant. "That's all right, though."

I nodded, my gaze fixing on his hand. "And if I can see it coming. They would blindfold me, and then-" I shook my head. I could feel the memories, straining against their intangible bonds. Without another word, I went into my bedroom, got undressed, and got into bed. I turned the television on and stared at it without really seeing it.

"What happened to the others?" Out of the corner of my eye, I could see he was in the doorway, leaning on one shoulder against the frame.

"There were only two of us in the basement, really, but the other two... suffered. Griphook died. I'd never really talked that much to a goblin before. He was... I wouldn't call him kind, but he was very determined to get justice for us. Dean..." I sighed. "Dean tried to kill himself. His mum took him to see some kind of Muggle Healer, just for his mind. He's doing much better now. He lives in France. He sends me letters sometimes. He keeps telling me that I should see one of those Muggle Healers."

"You don't want to?"

"No. There are people in our world who can stop me from going to the Janus Thickey Ward and never coming out. There's no one like that for me in the Muggle world." I stared resolutely at the television. "Mr Ollivander, he's all right." I smiled then, a real smile. "He's retired now. He wasn't hurt as badly as Dean and I. He sends me letters, I write back. It's almost like having family." I turned my attention to him. "I'm sorry, Gideon. Most of my days are better than this, I'm just a little forgetful when it comes to myself. But this is a lot all at once, and I'm finding myself ill-equipped to deal with it."

"What does Fred do?"

I slipped out of bed and moved past him, heading into the bathroom. He had followed me, and I caught his gaze in the mirror. "He comforts her." I pointed to the girl in the mirror- a reflection of myself.

He shook his head. "What does that mean?"

"He puts his arms around me. I can't feel it, of course, but she gets to be held."

He stepped up behind me, his arms coming around me. "Like this?" He was a little shorter than Fred, I could only see his eyes and the top of his nose behind my head instead of most of his face. My eyes settled on his arms, still wearing the overcoat. It wasn't the same. It wasn't Fred behind me, my best friend. But... It was something.

"This is what comforts you?" He shook his head. He looked sad, so sad.

"This is all I have."

His arms faded from view, and I could feel them- feel the fabric of his overcoat and the skin of his hands. Slowly, so slowly, he slid his arms away until his hands found purchase on my hips. He pushed on one and pulled the other, turning me to face him. "Close your eyes."

I stared up into his face. "I can't."

"Close your eyes, Luna," he repeated gently. I looked up into his intelligent brown eyes and all I saw there was reassuring kindness, and I found that I could.

"I'm going to put my arms around you now. One on your back-" I felt a hand slide up and around the middle of my back, "- and one around your waist." The other hand slid around my waist. "I'm going to pull you close and hold you. And then I'm not going to move until you want me to." His voice was so soft, so gentle, it was like he was drawing me to him just with his voice. My being naked didn't seem to bother him anymore.

I was resting up against him, his arms around me. I was stiff at first, all of my muscles tense. Eventually, bit by bit, I relaxed against him. It was the same as it was when Neville had held me. Slowly, hesitantly, I moved my arms around him. Under his overcoat, over the rest of the clothes he was wearing, until my hands clutched together behind his back.

He wasn't seeking to comfort himself, he wasn't assuaging his guilt. His embrace was somehow more than Neville's had been, because he wasn't seeking anything from me. My eyes made the front of his shirt wet, but he didn't seem to mind.

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews, I appreciate them! 22Moons- Luna's pretty keen on avoiding them herself!**


	6. Chapter 6

The nightmares came back that night. It was the one with Greyback, but this time it was different. There was another man there- a red-haired man, an Auror. He was watching what the werewolf was doing to me, a horrified expression on his face. "This is a dream," he said, quite urgently. "Stop him, Luna."

I shook my head mutely, my eyes trained on him.

"This is a dream. It's just a dream. Use your wand, Luna." His eyes were trained on my face, refusing to look at the atrocities that were being committed to my body. "You have the power here."

I shook my head again, but then I realized the fingers of my free hand were curled around my wand. The solid weight of it soothed me. I realized I was free from the heavy pressure of the werewolf's body, standing apart from him. I didn't know how I got that way. He was coming towards me again, though, and then I spoke the words, and then with a flash of green light, Greyback was motionless on the cold stone floor in front of me.

"Wake now, Luna." There was a desperate urgency to the red-haired man.

I awoke to the feel of a hand closing around my shoulder. I pulled away from the touch and sat up, drawing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I could feel the hot course of tears running down my cheeks.

I was aware of Gideon beside me, and now that I was awake, I knew who he was. I didn't look at him, but I could see his overcoat out of the corner of my eye. He was kneeling on the bed, facing me. I didn't want to see the look on his face after he'd seen what I'd seen. No one was supposed to see that. "Did that actually happen?" His voice was thick, like it was uncomfortable being pushed through his throat.

I unwrapped my right arm from my knee and held it out to him, and I could almost feel the intensity of his eyes as he stared at it. I felt the gentle swipe of his finger over the mass of thickened scar tissue just above my elbow. "Narcissa Malfoy was good with healing spells." I stared at the flickering television without really seeing it. "I understand she killed herself." She'd seen what they'd done. Sometimes they would make her stand there, casting the spells on me as...

"Stand up." His tone was gentle, he seemed afraid that if his voice was any stronger, it would smash me into many tiny pieces, like a teacup dropped on the floor.

I slipped from bed and stood, keeping my eyes on the television.

He walked around the bed to stand in front of me, then moved around behind me. There was a few moments of silence in the dim light of the television. "Has anyone else seen all of this?" I knew what he was looking at, what he was really seeing for the first time in the dimly lit room.

"The Healer at St Mungo's when I was hit on the head." He'd commented on the scars, asked me how I was still alive. "Fred." Fred had been there at the time, that was the first time I'd seen the rage in his eyes- true rage, not just his day-to-day frustration. I thought for a moment. "Some Muggles and Sirius Black, maybe, although the scars tend to make people's eyes slide away from them."

He walked back in front of me again. "I can understand that," he murmured. "It's hard to believe that someone would do the types of things that would have left all of this." His hand came out, and with one finger, he gently tipped my chin up so I was looking in his eyes. "What happened to the people who did this?" My face was the only place that the network of scars didn't reach. Selwyn had said he wanted to keep me pretty.

My eyes slid away from his and I closed my arms about myself. "Bellatrix Lestrange and Fenrir Greyback are dead. Anders Selwyn and Rodolphus Lestrange are in Azkaban."

I watched him frown. "Don't hide, Luna. I'm the only one here, and I'm not going to hurt you. Does anyone else know what happened?"

"Daddy does. Some of it, anyway. They gave him a memory and made him use a pensieve. That's why he's in St. Mungo's right now. His mind couldn't handle watching what they did to me." I could feel the wetness sliding down my cheeks and fall to land on my breasts.

His hand settled on my shoulder and became a solid weight of reassurance. The skin of his hands wasn't as rough as Fred's- no lingering burn scars from experiments gone sideways. "Do you think you can go back to sleep?"

I shook my head. "I need a cup of tea."

He followed me down to the kitchen and settled at the table to watch me make myself a cup of tea. "You should show them."

I looked over at him to question who 'them' was. There was a fierceness in his brown eyes- I'd seen the same look on Fred's face when he spoke about the people who used to be friends of mine. "I don't want sympathy, Gideon," I told him in a singsong voice while I added sugar to my tea.

"No, but perhaps then they would understand."

"It wouldn't be understanding. They would think that what happened to me was a reason for me to think I speak to the souls of dead people, not that they would understand that I do actually speak to the souls of dead people." I sighed and settled down at the table, drawing one knee up to my chest to rest my chin on it. "I miss Fred. Not because there's anything wrong with you, but because we've been sharing space for three years, and now he's not here."

"I'm better-looking, though." There was a sly smile on Gideon's face, and it made me smile, too. His expression was touched with a bit of desperation. He knew I wasn't ready to let him comfort me, and so he was teasing me to cheer me up. Fred did that.

"You're so like him." I looked him over and shook my head. "And not, at the same time. You're harder than he is."

"I am an Auror."

I nodded. There were traces of that same hardness in other Aurors, even in Neville. Dear, kind Neville. "They were just worried about him." He didn't follow the shift in conversation. "My old friends who came to the door."

"From all of that," he waved his hand at me, and I knew he was referring to the scars, "they should be worried about you. How old were you?"

"Sixteen. I was glad not to have my birthday there." I shook my head. I was finished talking about it. "How do you learn the things you need to learn when you go beyond the Veil?"

"Someone finds you. A friend, family. They show you what you need to know."

"Why do you need to know?"

He stared at me for a time, and I could see the thoughts moving behind his eyes. "Some time ago, before I died, a great many souls were brought over to this side against their will. There are rumors that it will happen again. In Fred's particular case... How do you think things might have gone for you if he knew how to hold you, how to enter your nightmares and help you?"

"I don't like to think of things in terms of that," I replied. "How would things have gone for me if Daddy hadn't printed that paper? How would things have gone for me if I'd stayed at the school over Christmas holidays?" I shook my head again. "Thinking like that is a trap."

He looked somewhat irritated, but when he spoke, his voice was still gentle. "Then do you think it will help you going forward?"

I had to nod at that, I didn't even need to take any time to mull it over. I took a long drink of my tea.

"Do you think you can sleep now?"

I shook my head. "I'll probably go into work early this morning. I don't... sleep, after the nightmares. I keep seeing it every time I close my eyes. It takes some time to hide the memories again."

"Do you want me to hold you? I'm not Fred, but I am here."

I thought about it for a moment. "Would you?" I felt greedy, selfish, but I couldn't help but wanting the touch of another person. It wasn't fair to have him hold all of my pain against him, but I couldn't pass the offer over.

He came around the table and took my hand, pulling me gently to my feet. "Close your eyes." I did it without any hesitation this time, and I felt him encircle me in his arms. "I think I should go to work with you today." He didn't breathe, but he was warm. I nestled against him like his warmth would chase away the hurting.

"Why?"

"Between your former friends and your nightmares, I think you could use someone around. They work at the Ministry too, don't they?"

I nodded, moving my head against the overcoat covering his solid chest.

I did go to work a few hours early, and Gideon came with me. Daphne wasn't even there yet, and the atrium was quieter than it usually was when I got to work.

We went right down to my office, Gideon making the occasional remark about how things had or hadn't changed. I closed my door and sat down to work, finishing writing out what Gideon had told me the previous day, and how he'd been able to interact with me in my dream.

There was a knock on my door. I let Daphne in, and she came and settled in the chair across from me. "Nightmares?" she asked.

I nodded. "Gideon came to work with me today. He said he doesn't want me to be alone."

She clasped her hands on the desk and leaned forward. She took command of my desk in much the same way she took command of her own, but that was all right. "Where is he?"

I pointed to the corner where Gideon was leaning against the wall, reading over files spread open on one of my cabinets. She frowned, staring at the space where he was, and watched as one of the pages turned over. "Mr... Prewett?"

He looked up at her, and there was one of the more comfortable grins on his face. "She's very pretty, no wonder Fred fancies her."

I had to giggle. When she looked a question at me, I relayed what he had said, and I could see her trying very unsuccessfully to subdue her smile. "Mr Prewett, you're not cleared to be looking at those files."

"Are you going to stop me?"

The smile slipped from her face and she stared at the corner for another few moments. "No, I suppose I'm not. Luna, I read over the report that you started last night. Is that..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

She'd been about to ask me if I meant what I'd written. I knew she tried very hard not to do that, because she thought I faced enough doubt outside of level nine.

"I'm going to touch her."

She looked alarmed when I told her what he had said. Fred had touched her, of course, in fact he seemed to touch her as often as he could. But this was different, as she was soon going to see. "All right."

I watched him move around me and the desk and stop beside her. He looked down at her for a moment, and then his hand disappeared. She flinched, and I watched the outline of his hand in the Ministry robes over her shoulder. And then her other shoulder. And he stood there, looking down at her.

Time wore on. "Thank you, Mr Prewett." The imprints lifted from her shoulders and his hands came back into view. He went back to the corner he'd been in without saying anything else. "This is... concerning. Has there ever been an influx of souls on this side in the past?"

"Yes," I answered. That's what he'd told me that morning.

She frowned, nodding. "I seem to remember reading something about that, but I don't know... Do you know when?" When I shook my head, her attention turned back to the corner. "Mr Prewett?"

"No. Before the first wizarding war, I believe. It was during this century. It's worth noting that it was done against their will."

His reply, through me, made her close her eyes for a long moment. "Luna," she said, looking at me again, "I need you to look through the archives. You too, Mr Prewett, if you wouldn't mind. We need to find out more about this, and you have at least some better idea of what we're looking for."

"I could ask someone. We have a hard time with keeping track of the passage of time, but it's possible someone will remember a date."

She stared at me for a moment, considering his words that came out of my mouth. "That would be ideal, but is it..." She closed her eyes for a long moment before opening them and continuing. "I know when you came into work this morning. Is it really a good idea for you to be alone, Luna? I know sometimes the nightmares come back for a few nights in a row."

I blinked at her. "Whether or not it's a good idea, it happens."

Her hand tightened into a fist, I could see her fingernails leaving indents in her palm. "We can wait. A few days, until Fred comes back?" It was a question, but she wasn't asking either of us. She stood up and went to the door and stepped out, and I saw her training her head at the floor and frowning. "Longbottom?"

I heard him stand up, and he rushed into my office. He grabbed my arm and pushed the sleeve of my robes up over my elbow, and then quite promptly emptied his stomach into my dustbin.

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! 22Moons- He might yet come around! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

I knew what he had seen. I watched him standing there and staring at me, the ghost of the innocence of the girl I'd been in his kind, hurt-filled eyes. "Which one was it?"

"Greyback was biting your arm as... as..." He leaned over the dustbin and heaved again, but there was nothing left to come out.

The same as my nightmare, then. Even Gideon, in the corner, was looking a little pale at the thought. He'd seen it, too.

"It's fine, though, isn't it? It's still there." The blank pleasantness, the neutral distance. It wasn't my arm, it was that girl's arm; that girl who had lost her innocence in the basement of Malfoy Manor. She'd been gone for a long time. The sleeve had fallen back over my arm, obscuring the mound of scar tissue left by jagged teeth.

"Luna..." Gideon came over to me and his hand brushed against my shoulder.

"What is this?" Daphne demanded. She didn't know what was going on, and she didn't like it.

"When my father was sent to St. Mungo's, the memory they'd shown him in Azkaban was moved here as evidence. Neville... Dear Neville..." I watched him for a moment, shaking my head. "You didn't need to see that to understand. Now you know why Daddy doesn't stay here, though. If he stays here, he's trapped with that."

"There were two of them. I destroyed them. I dropped them on the ground and I stomped on them until they were gone." He looked up at me, a bright, fierce light in his eyes. "No one should see you go through that, Luna."

"Destroying them doesn't take away what happened. Nothing can take that away. That's why I hide it. Only I can't hide it lately. It keeps coming up, no matter how hard I try." I stood up, moving away from everyone. I needed to be alone. I needed Fred. I needed not to be there anymore.

Daphne's eyes had closed, and she'd braced herself on the edge of the desk. "Longbottom, are you telling me you performed unauthorized destruction of evidence? Is that what I'm hearing right now? Because that's what it sounds like."

I moved away from them all, slipping out of the open door and down the hall. I walked to the lifts and waited until one took me up, away from level nine. The atrium, I could Disapparate in the atrium.

I wound up in Hogsmeade. It was still cold in Hogsmeade in the middle of March. I walked up the long path that I'd walked so many times before, I walked until I got to Hogwarts.

I hadn't been back since I'd finished school. It looked the same as it had the last time I had seen it, when the boats had carried us back across the Black Lake. The stone walls stood tall, the corridors wide and filled with movement. Fred had told me that the soul window was here. Here, in the Great Hall, where his brother had stood over his body.

I took off my shoes and my Ministry robes, leaving just the orange dress I was wearing underneath. Fred liked orange. He told me that it made my skin look washed out, but it was his favorite color.

There were students in the Great Hall. I received the same looks from them as I had from other students in years past. There were whispers, murmurs, pointing, questions. I let it all fall around me like I had in the past.

"Miss Lovegood." It was Professor Flitwick, my former Head of House and now Deputy Headmaster. At least he had been in my last year of school. "Why are you here- is there something I can help you with?"

"I don't think I can tell you that. There are a number of reasons for that, the very least of which is that I am bound to keep a great many secrets."

He looked up at me for a long moment. "Are you all right?"

"I'm not. Not at all." I gave him what I hoped was a smile. "You may wish to alert the Ministry that I'm here. It's a great concern when one of us goes missing, on account of all of the secrets."

He paused, looking at me. I could see the concern in his eyes. I'd seen that same look from him through the years I'd attended school, in varying degrees. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't think so. Thank you, though. I appreciate the thought." I went and sat on the very end of the Ravenclaw table. I didn't know exactly where the soul window was, nor even what I was looking for. I didn't even know what I was going to do when I found it. But I had to do something, and I had to not be in my office anymore. I didn't want Neville's sympathy, I couldn't take it. Gideon wasn't Fred, Daphne couldn't express affection. It was all wrong.

Professor Flitwick left. After a moment, I did too. The echo-y noise from the students sitting in the room was starting to assault my head in a painful way, so I got off of the table and walked down to the closed-off lavatory. Most of the Hogwarts ghosts avoided me after I started being able to see souls, and Myrtle was no exception. The lavatory was completely empty. I went and stood in front of the mirror, peering at the pale girl reflected there. She didn't look at all well. There were tired smudges under her eyes and a sort-of resigned, horrified expression on her face, as though she knew she couldn't get away from the things that were chasing her.

There was a soul there, standing behind the girl in the mirror. A man, a blond man. His hair was more golden than my own. His mouth looked like it was used to grinning, but his eyes looked... mercenary, as though he was looking at me and evaluating what use I was to him. He was not the sort of man I wanted to associate with. And yet I stared at him.

He stared back, in seeming disbelief. We looked at each other for a moment of eternity, and a calculating smile turned up the corners of his mouth. I'd seen expressions like that before, and they had usually been quite quickly followed by great amounts of physical pain.

And then he was gone, and Neville stood in his place. "Luna. Why did you run away?" He was out-of-breath, like he'd been running.

"I don't want sympathy, Neville, from you or from anyone. Sympathy doesn't change what happened. Sympathy doesn't make it better."

"What does make it better?"

I met his eyes in the mirror. "If I knew, it would be better. I only have experience with the things that didn't work." That wasn't entirely true. I knew one thing that would help, one thing that would ease everything, though not banish it. I couldn't ask for it, though. It had been too long.

He came up behind me and his hands came up to rest on my shoulders. Not just hers, mine as well. It was still odd, feeling the same thing that I saw happening to the girl in the mirror. "Let me help." He was taller than both Fred and Gideon, I could see his square jaw all the way down to his chin.

I turned away from her, turned towards Neville, and looked up at him. "Are you in very much trouble for destroying those memories?

"Daphne is... Sorting it out. In the meantime, I'm being borrowed again for official Unspeakable business." When I'd turned, his hands had fallen away. Now he gently gripped my upper arms and peered down at me. "Why did you come here?"

I stared up at him for a moment. "I don't think I can tell you that."

He nodded. He knew what I was, he knew that I kept secrets. "Let's get you back to the Ministry, Luna. Or home, if you'd rather. Daphne said that you can take the rest of the day off if you need to."

I shook my head. "I should go back to work. Gideon's probably not very happy with me."

Neville chuckled. "He was pushing things off of your desk, I think he was trying to show us that he was not very happy." His arm came around my waist and he drew me gently towards the door. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you, Luna."

"That's all right, Neville. It's hard to believe the things we have no proof of." I walked along beside him for a moment. "Was he pushing things off the desk like a cat?"

He chuckled again, and his arm tightened around my waist for a moment. "Thank you for that; now every time I picture Gideon, I'm going to picture something like Crookshanks, only with Weasley-red fur."

I answered seriously, despite his light-heartedness. "He looks like George, just a little shorter and a little broader." I thought for a moment. "His face looks a lot like George's, and he's built like Charlie. And he's got that hardness in his eyes, the one that comes from being an Auror." I looked up at him for a moment, before turning back to face forward to concentrate on where I was walking. "You have that now too, Neville."

"Hardness?"

"Like you've seen things that were hard to see and done things that were hard to do."

He remained silent, but I already knew what the truth was. Even before he'd seen the memory, he'd seen things that most people didn't have to.

We walked far enough out of Hogwarts to Apparate back to the Ministry. When we reached Daphne's office, Gideon's pointed look at me made me realize that Neville still had his arm around me. I was greedy for the touch, though, I wanted it there.

"Spook duty," Gideon said.

"Spook duty?" I echoed, and I was echoed by Daphne.

"Have Daphne tell the Minister that Longbottom needs to be put on Spook Duty."

"Daphne, you need to talk to the Minister about having Neville put on Spook Duty."

"I can do that." Her fingernails tapped against the paper covering her desk. "What is it, exactly?"

"It's an old position that was largely ceremonial and went out of favor in the first wizarding war, so more of us could get into the field. Longbottom will have to make some Unbreakable Vows, of course, but it will attach him to the Unspeakables for as long as you need him, and it will mean that he is subject to the same laws as Unspeakables."

I related the information. Our laws meant that anyone who wanted to say that we were doing something that wasn't allowed had the onus of proving that whatever we had done wasn't necessary for our work. And since most of what we did was sensitive information, it was basically impossible. We policed ourselves, and the Unbreakable Vows we took were to ensure that we didn't abuse the letter of our law.

Like Neville was about to do. "Wouldn't that be going against our Vow?"

She shook her head, a very satisfied look coming over her face. "No. The state of your father's soul is an Unspeakable matter, as is the process of how he became the way he is. If what Longbottom saw is what caused your father to become this way, then the destruction of the memories would protect an Unspeakable matter." She looked at Neville for a long moment, her hands coming to fold in front of her. "You're in an awkward position. If you don't do this, I will Obliviate you. You'll lose the memories of what you saw, of the discussion we're having right now, and of the interaction you had with Luna that led you to seek out what you saw. If you don't want to be Obliviated, you're not leaving this office until you make an Unbreakable Vow." Her office was enchanted the same way mine was, she could ensure that he didn't leave.

Before I had too long to think about how I would feel if Neville went back to not being my friend again, he spoke. "I'll do it. I'll take the Vows." His other arm came around me, holding me against him. I reveled in the embrace.

"You're certain? You won't ever be able to go back to being a regular Auror without being Obliviated. This isn't ceremonial, you already have sensitive information. I would suggest taking some time to think about this."

He shook his head. "No, I don't need to take any time. I'll do it."

"How very Gryffindor of you." She was smiling, though, to take the sting out of her words. Most of the Unspeakables were former Ravenclaws or Slytherins. Some of the same qualities that had placed us in our Houses made us well-suited to this line of work. "I intend to put you to work, Longbottom. It looks like there's going to be some time spent digging through the archives, and an extra pair of eyes will be beneficial. Rather more boring than what you're used to doing, I'm sure."

"Whatever you need, Greengrass."

"Very well. I'm going to go up and insist I have a meeting with the Minister. This may take some time. Can I trust you to go directly into Luna's office if I let you out of here?"

"I can make sure he doesn't run," Gideon said. "Although if he's Frank and Alice's son, I don't think that's going to be necessary."

Daphne stared at me for a long moment after I'd told her that, a long-reaching worry in her eyes. "Very well."

We went into my office and she went towards the lift to go up and speak to Minister Shacklebolt.

When Gideon realized that I was content to lean against Neville, he sat down in my chair. "Longbottom- looks a lot like Alice Longbottom."

I nodded. "She was his mother."

"Was? She hasn't moved beyond the Veil." I shook my head, I didn't feel like I could speak to that. "He should sleep in your flat tonight."

I didn't tell Neville what he'd said. "Why?"

"I want to speak with him. If he sleeps in your flat, I can still be on hand if you have nightmares, but I can enter his dreams and speak with him as well. You have a spare room."

I did tell Neville what Gideon had said then, and looked then across to my chair where I indicated Gideon was sitting before peering down at me. "What do you want, Luna? It's your flat."

"I think it's all right."

"All right." He was leaned against one of my filing cabinets and had me pulled against him, his arms loosely around me. I was content to stay there, soaking up the physical contact. "I have a bag in my locker I can bring, if you want me to go home with you after work."

"That's fine."

"I don't know... Gideon can hear me, obviously, but I can't hear him. How do I..." A look up at his face showed confusion. "I don't want to be rude, Gran raised me better than that."

"Speak to him. He can hear you. He'll speak through me, usually I relate exactly what he says, unless he also has something to say to me." At least, that was what Fred preferred, and Gideon wasn't raising any objection. "It's a little slower to speak this way, but if you have enough patience, you can have a conversation."

**A/N: Cliffhanger... OVER! Thanks for the reviews, everyone. :D They help inspire me when the muse gets difficult.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

The nightmares came back that night. And the same red-haired man was there, watching me, telling me to use my wand to save myself. This time it was Bellatrix Lestrange that fell to the green light.

And when I woke, it was to a familiar voice. "Wake up, Luna." Fred!

I opened my eyes and sat up to see him sitting on the edge of the bed. He was worried, but he was happy to see me. I wished I could throw my arms around him and hold him. "I missed you," I said instead.

"I missed you too, love. There's been a lot happening here, though- I go away for a few days and there's a Longbottom in the spare room, my girl is having nightmares, and my uncle has taken my place in my bed?"

A look over showed that Gideon was sitting beside me, and he gave me a reassuring smile. "It was easier that time." He was referring to my dream.

I thought about it. "It was." It hadn't been such a struggle for me to take control of what was going on.

My voice must have roused Neville, because he came into the room, his wand held before him. "You all right?"

I nodded. "Fred's back!" I exclaimed happily. I was so excited that the feeling took over my body and I had to express it physically to let it all out. I pulled myself out of bed and went over to hug him in my excitement, just because I had to hug someone, and he was the only one with a solid enough body for me to do so.

"Luna." Fred sounded amused. "Longbottom's not exactly used to the state of dress you use for sleeping."

I became aware that while Neville's arms had closed around me in return, they were looped around my shoulders, and he was holding himself as much apart from me as he could. I pulled back and looked up at him. "Does it bother you?"

"What?" His eyes were trained over the top of my head, to the far wall. There was extra color in his face and his ears were almost glowing pink.

"My being naked."

"I wouldn't say it bothers me..." He cleared his throat. "I'm just not used to, er..." he trailed off, and I felt his hands move off my back and gesture at me. "This."

Fred was laughing. "Tell me he's still a virgin." I didn't bother sharing that with him.

"It's a little unexpected," Gideon said in defense of the living Auror. "I was a bit surprised- it's too bad no one had thought to warn me." I could hear the pointedness of his tone.

I slipped away from Neville, far enough away that I didn't have to put a cramp in my neck to look up at him. He was much taller than Gideon and Fred. "Did you have a chance to talk to Gideon?"

"Yes." His eyes drifted down to mine, and then snapped right back up again, much to Fred's amusement. "He wants me to stay here with you while he goes back."

"I'll be returning to you," Gideon cut in from behind me. "I just need to see if I can find out anything about the large collection of souls that were here before. Daphne's right, it could become a problem."

Neville waited until my attention returned to him before continuing. "I can't believe that no one having these dreams would believe it's anything else. I've never... I've never had a dream like that before."

I nodded. "There are complications to that, of course. One is that the soul has to know where to go, and they have to be able to see the person that they want to enter the dreams of. They can't just pop up here anywhere they like, they have to come through the soul window and that's in Hogwarts."

Comprehension lit his eyes. "Which is why you were there yesterday."

I nodded. "And if you hadn't known that it was what it was, would you have considered that it was Gideon entering your dreams, or would you just have rejected it out of hand as a strange dream?"

He looked down at me for a time, meeting my eyes as he considered the question. "I'm not sure."

"Smart man," Fred said from behind me. He seemed to be in a better mood than he had been in some time. There wasn't as much guilt and frustration coming from him. I'd missed him, but maybe it was beneficial that he'd gone beyond the Veil. "Are you getting back to sleep tonight?"

It was my turn to take a moment and think. "I don't think so. I think I'm going to go and have some tea."

I felt his hand brush over my hip. "You might want to put something on, Luna, or poor Longbottom is going to have a fit."

I looked up at Neville, who had fixed his eyes on a spot on the wall again. "I'm going to go down and have some tea. Would you like some?"

The question seemed to shock him. "What time is it?"

"Close to three, I believe." One of the things I'd picked up during my incarceration in the Malfoy basement was an impeccable sense of time. I lost track of the passage of time quite easily, but when I thought about it, I always knew when I was.

"You're not... Going back to sleep?" He was looking at me again, seeming quite surprised that I was giving up on rest at this hour.

"I find it very hard to sleep after I've had a nightmare. I keep seeing it, behind my eyes." I picked up the orange dress from the floor where I'd left it when I went to bed, and slipped it back on.

"You'll get dressed for him, will you?" Gideon asked. His tone said he was half-teasing, he seemed to be in a better mood since Fred reappeared as well.

"Fred usually has good ideas." I moved past Neville, headed out to my kitchen.

He followed along after me, as did the two souls. "Why don't you take dreamless sleep potions if you have this much trouble with nightmares?"

"Because then they come to me when I'm awake. At least this way, they don't really interrupt my work, or put me in compromising positions in awkward locations." It had happened once in the middle of the Great Hall at Hogwarts. That had been rather unpleasant. "Tea?"

"He told me about his parents," Gideon informed me, leaning against the wall. Neville had taken the only other seat that was pulled out.

I moved the other two chairs away from the table so they could be sat in as well and started making tea. "What did you say?"

"That he should let them go. That the Frank and Alice I knew- and I knew them rather well- wouldn't want to be trapped like that."

I nodded. "I know."

"He told me about your father too."

"Uncle Gideon," came Fred's warning.

A warning that was ignored. "How often does he come back, that you keep him tethered in a useless body?" His tone was gentle, even though his words weren't.

"Gideon!" "What's going on?" Both said at the same time, the first almost hostile and the second concerned.

I put the kettle on the range and sat down on the floor right where I was, covering my ears. "Too much," I said. "Too much at once."

Fred came and knelt in front of me and held his hands up between us. As I looked up at him, his hands and arms disappeared, and then I felt them close around my wrists. He gently pulled my hands away from the sides of my head.

At the same time, Neville came over to where I was. He went to touch my shoulder and encountered Fred's arm, and leaped back with a yell. "Fuck me!" he exclaimed, staring at me in astonishment. "Was that Fred?"

I didn't get a chance to answer. "Listen to me, Luna." Gideon was in front of me, too, kneeling down. "You visit your father because you don't want to be alone, right? You want someone to touch you and tell you that they care about you." He gestured around, including himself, Fred, and Neville who was now standing on the other side of the table and watching me warily. "Fred is touching you right now. Mr Longbottom was reaching for you, I've held you. You're not alone, Luna. You're not. Let him go. That's no way for anyone to live."

I closed my eyes against the wash of wetness that spilled down from my eyes, but it came anyway.

"Can I come close now?" Neville asked. The hands holding my wrists released me, and in a moment, I felt an entirely separate pair of hands close around my waist and lift me gently to my feet. Strong hands, compassionate hands. Neville's hands.

I opened my eyes in time to see him pull me against him. "What is it?" he asked gently.

"I'm scared," I told him, told all of them. "I'm scared that if I let Daddy go, none of you are going to stay. Everyone leaves."

"Is that what they were talking about?" he asked.

"Not me, mate," Fred muttered, even though Neville couldn't hear him.

"No one is leaving," Neville said firmly. "Fred came back, didn't he? And Gideon's coming back. Daphne would use an Unforgivable on me if I abandoned you."

"Too right she would," came from Fred. "You know he's right, love. I'm here now."

Neville stiffened against me like he was working on something uncomfortable. After a time, he said, "Come and stay with me. I can't leave if you're living in my house, can I? Fred and Gideon too, of course. I've got loads of room at my house, and it's quiet out there."

"It's very complicated for me to move." The flat would have to be unenchanted, and then considerable time would have to be spent enchanting the new house. And it would be made more complicated if the new house wasn't mine, and I was actually just staying there.

"Then I'll sell the house and come and live here with you. And Fred. And Gideon." I heard the wry tone, the smile in his voice. "Bit cramped with four of us, but at least only two of us would share the loo."

There were two very similar snickers from behind me. I felt a hand settle on my back, above where Neville's arms were wrapped around my waist. "I think it's a good idea." Gideon said.

"Do you?" Fred scoffed. "You just got here."

"You think it's not?"

"I didn't say that."

Listening to them bicker comforted me, somehow. Bickering meant family. Bickering in front of me meant they included me in their family. I smiled, reaching up to wipe the lingering trails of wetness from my face. "They think it's a good idea."

"What do you think, Luna? It's your flat. You're the one who's going to have to put the toilet seat down, because I'm rubbish at that. Gran raised me proper, but seven years living in a dorm with all boys gave me bad habits."

"I don't know that you're prepared to live with me, Neville. I sleep naked, and I walk around naked at night, and I have nightmares, and I tend not to clean until someone reminds me that my flat is very untidy. I eat stew for dinner most nights because it's hard to burn stew, and I'm selfish and needy." I tilted my head back to look in his eyes, brown pools of kindness.

His jaw was set in a very determined way. I'd seen that look before, especially during his last year at Hogwarts. "I'll adjust. It may take some time to sell the house, but I can move in as soon as you'll let me. I'll pay rent."

I shook my head. "You don't need to. I was given a lot of money for the things that happened to me." And there was more waiting for me when Daddy died, for what had been done to him. "Think about it, Neville. Really think about it."

"And when I do, and I reaffirm that this is something I need to do, what then?" There was a finality in his voice. He wasn't going to spend much more time thinking about it, no matter what I said.

"How long?" I asked him, dropping my gaze to stare at the center of his chest. He didn't sleep with a shirt on either, although he did have pajama trousers. "How long would you stay?"

"Until you realize that you're not alone."

I shook my head. "That could be a very long time. What of your own family?"

"Gran? She'll keep." I could hear the smile in his voice. "I don't imagine I'll see her any less than I do now."

"Dating and girlfriends and things. I expect you'll want to have sex with someone at some point." I shook my head again. "I don't imagine another witch would be terribly understanding about you seeing someone else naked. Or living with me at all, naked or not." My reputation might make things difficult for him, and I wasn't sure he entirely understood that.

"Daphne doesn't care," came from behind me, across the room.

"Daphne wouldn't date Neville. Hermione and Harry came to see me while you were gone; I don't suppose someone like Hermione would be very understanding. I believe there are a lot more witches like Hermione than there are like Daphne."

"Why did they come here?" Fred sounded irritated.

At the same time, Neville said, "Let me worry about my own love life, all right?"

I clapped my hands over my ears again. I felt the hand leave my back, and then Gideon gripped my wrists and pulled them gently away from my head.

"Why do you do that?" the blond Auror in front of me asked.

"It's the echo. You have two voices, and then when someone else speaks, it's like three people are talking at the same time. It doesn't fit properly in my ears."

"You don't have this problem with Daphne."

"We did at first. She learned." It hadn't taken very long, she was very observant.

"I'll learn too." Neville's hands closed gently around my upper arms. "Are you going to let me stay here?"

I could stop him if I wanted to, make him leave my flat and never let him back in. But... I didn't really want to. I was worried, of course, worried about what would happen when he realized that I wasn't a very good flatmate.

"Say yes," Gideon urged me quietly. "Give him a chance to prove himself, to make it up to you. He wants to be here for you."

I nodded. "Yes," I whispered. I hoped very much that I wouldn't regret it.

**A/N: Fred's back! **


	9. Chapter 9

I went outside onto my balcony to send an owl to Daphne as soon as the sun came up, telling her that Fred was back. I knew that she would want to know right away. The sun wasn't really out, it was still gray, but it was lighter gray than it had been when I'd woken up.

Neville watched my owl fly away. "Why didn't you send a Patronus?" he asked, a strange look on his face.

It was chilly, and I wrapped my arms around my torso to try and keep them from getting too cold. "I can't cast a Patronus anymore. You need focus on intensely happy memories for those, and I find it's very hard for me to do so." We could keep talking about this inside. I opened the sliding glass doors that separated my balcony- where my owl lived- from my flat.

"I saw you cast one at the last battle," I heard from behind me as he came over to the open door.

"Three years ago," Fred chastised him, which I didn't bother relating.

I turned back to look at him for a moment. "I was quite happy to have been rescued. It was harder to be happy after that." I stepped inside, followed quickly by Neville and Fred. Gideon had waited for us inside, there really wasn't room for the four of us out on the small balcony.

When we came back in, he stood up from where he'd been seated on one of my soft lounge chairs, watching us through the transparent glass. His brown eyes, just like Fred's, moved over me for a long moment. He seemed to be hesitating about saying something. "I'm going to leave now." My heart sank. I knew he was going to leave, and it still made me very sad. He caught the expression on my face, and he came over to me. He took my hands in his, lifting them between us, and his hands disappeared. "I'll be back as soon as I can." He was frowning, his expression sincere. "I promise I'm coming back," he told me fervently, his eyes on mine.

I nodded. When I saw the rest of his body begin to fade away, I knew what was going to happen. Still, he told me to close my eyes, and that he was going to put his arms around me. I clutched to the front of his overcoat. I'd become quite fond of him in the short time he'd been with me. I was going to miss him a lot.

I heard the glass door slide shut, and then, "That looks so strange," from Neville.

"Too right," Fred agreed, which I passed along.

"What, he- I mean, you- can't see Luna cuddling Gideon?" He was still getting used to talking to someone he couldn't see.

I felt something I hadn't felt in a very long time. I felt the unmistakable press of soft, smooth skin on my temple- a kiss. Tender, warm; no one had kissed me like that in longer than I could remember. There had been kisses, of course, the Muggles in their acts of passion had claimed my mouth, left their damp trails along my skin. Nothing like this.

And then he was gone, and all that was left was the single tear slipping silently down my face. I sat down on the end of my chaise longue, my eyes focused on the floor in front of me.

"What did he do?" Fred demanded. "So help me, uncle or not, if he hurt you-"

"He kissed me," I whispered.

"You're breaking my heart," Neville said, and I felt the furniture shift as he sat down beside me. "How did we let you..."

"Your guilt..." I sighed and looked up into his brown eyes. I could see the guilt there, threatening to overtake him. "It's like a monster, Neville. It wants to eat you. It wants to consume you. You can't let it. I can't live with you if you let the guilt eat you. Fred has guilt, too, but it's not going to eat him. It goes away sometimes, and that's how I can live with him." I reached up and touched him, ran my finger down along his jaw. He hadn't shaved yet that morning, the bristles in his skin were rough under the pad of my finger. "Things happened, a lot of things happened. You've apologized, I've forgiven you. You've got to forgive yourself. The things that happened, the past... It's behind us, and we can only move ahead from here."

"That's the second time you've voluntarily touched him," Fred observed. Out of habit, I told Neville what he'd said.

Neville was wearing the frown again. "You don't touch people?"

"She doesn't even shake hands, mate."

I relayed that, and added, "Daddy. I take his hand, because he can't move it on his own. But no one else that I can touch is safe."

"I'm safe?"

I looked up into his eyes. Guilt had been replaced by hope, and I nodded. The smile that broke out on his face was warm enough that it lit up my entire flat. He watched me for a moment, and then he took my hand, pulling it down from his face. "Sometimes the past keeps coming back, though." His smile dimmed a little. "I need to say goodbye, Luna. Will you help me say goodbye?"

Looking at him, I knew what he was talking about. I dropped my eyes down to where my hand was engulfed in his. "I do, too. I need to... I need to talk to him before I say goodbye. Monday, we can start on Monday."

"Why don't you come with me to my flat to help me pack? Then this afternoon we can go to St. Mungo's, and then you'll have a day tomorrow before we have to go back to work."

"I think that's a good idea, especially since we didn't go to the cinema yesterday," Fred agreed, and I told Neville.

"Where is Fred?" Neville asked. I pointed to where my best friend was still standing over by the balcony doors, and Neville looked up to where I'd indicated him. "Why is that?"

"Luna doesn't get out much. It's hard, of course, there aren't a lot of places that don't give her a headache, but if she just goes between work and here for too long, it tends to make her withdraw into herself some more."

"Headache?" Neville peered at me, concerned again. "From the noise of so many people talking at once?"

I nodded. "I was doing all right before..."

"I know. But it's been a while, and then a whole mess of things happened at once, and now we're here. Get out for a bit, Luna. No expectations, no work, no responsibilities."

"When you're listening to Fred, your focus shifts, just a little." The blond Auror in front of me was observing out loud, not really talking to me.

I told him what Fred said. "Are you going to come with us?" I asked my best friend.

"Do you want me to come to St. Mungo's with you?"

I told Neville what Fred had asked, and added, "It's very difficult for Fred to come with me and see the souls trapped like that."

"Will I do?" Neville asked while I was thinking about the answer. "I'm not Fred, I know, but I'll be there for you if you let me."

I looked between them, and nodded slowly. Neville was going to be there already, and it would save Fred from the pain that going to see the trapped souls meant for him. "Where will you go instead?"

"See George. I'll be back tonight." He came over to me, and his hand brushed across my shoulders. "I've never held you, not where you could feel it. Can I?"

I slipped my hand from Neville's and stood up, closing my eyes without hesitation. In a moment, I felt my best friend pull me into his arms. He held me, and everything felt all right. He'd never held me while he was still alive, but this felt familiar, somehow. It felt like home. I slipped my arms around him, sliding them against the rich cotton that made up his shirt. "You're crying again, aren't you?"

I nodded, feeling the wetness slip down my face. "It's not pain."

"Good."

"You're... You're not going to be around as much, especially when Gideon gets back." It wasn't a question, I was making an observation.

"I'm not leaving you."

"I know."

And then he was gone, too, vanished the same way Gideon had. I opened my eyes. Neville had quietly left us, I could hear him moving about the spare room. I went to my own room, and got changed into some clean clothes. I met him in the kitchen; he was dressed and ready to go. "We'll get some breakfast on the way to my house, if that's all right."

Breakfast. I hadn't eaten, yet. "That's fine."

We stopped somewhere close to his house for tea and pastries- coffee for him- and then he was showing me where he lived. It was raining at his house in Yorkshire, and he quickly ushered me up the garden path and through his front door.

It was a nice house. It was the kind of house that was meant for a small family, and it had the air of being left alone for most of the time. "You're not here often," I observed, walking through the living room, running my hand along the back of the brown sofa. "This isn't really home for you, is it?"

I could feel him watching me as I looked out the living room window. "It's not. I'm... not. Here often, I mean. Long hours. And it's a bit lonely here, you know? I get out with the lads a lot. Which reminds me..." I turned towards him to see him take out his wand and sent off a Patronus, a small, four-legged animal that looked a bit like an otter.

"What is it?" I asked, staring curiously as it ran once around the room and then disappeared through the wall.

"Mongoose." He ducked his head as he said it, a flush of his humility coloring his skin.

"You've become quite a bit better at that since you left school." I smiled at him.

He still wasn't very good at taking compliments, though. He gave me a shy smile and gestured towards the small table sitting between the living room and the kitchen. "Sit down so we can eat."

I looked down at the take-away cup of tea that was still in my hand, I'd almost forgot it was there. I went and sat down at the table. "Am I ruining your plans for the day?"

"Not really. Some of the Aurors were going to go to watch Quidditch today."

"I can't take over your life, Neville," I told him in a sing-song voice.

"You're not. I'm perfectly happy to get out with my other friends if they want, after I finish moving." He looked at me for a long moment from where he was sitting on the other side of the table, his breakfast Danish on a plate in front of him. "You mentioned that Hermione and Harry came to see you- Hermione came to talk to me at work, too. It's..." He waved his hand in a frustrated fashion, shaking his head. "I'm sorry."

I knew he wasn't apologizing for her. "It's all right." I looked down at my tea for a moment before taking a drink. I had a pretty good idea what she'd said to him. Motivated by her care for him, she worried that I would hurt him. They underestimated him, much the same way they underestimated me. I could understand that, everything had ridden on their shoulders for so long.

"It's not." He reached across the table and put his hand on my wrist. "It's not. I'm not the one who needs their concern right now. I'm all right. The first little while, it was hard. You were there at school that year, it wasn't easy. Things happened... But no one... No one..." He paled, he looked like he might vomit, he was thinking about what he'd seen happen to me again.

I met his eyes squarely. "Don't compare what we went through. No matter who you are, there's always someone you can perceive as having gone through worse." I shrugged. "I wasn't made to torture my friends, children younger than myself. I don't imagine I would have dealt with that very well."

"No." He looked angry. I'd rarely seen Neville angry, but it was there now in the flash of his eyes and the sudden bloom of color in his cheeks. "No. No one else I know went through anything like what I saw. And we all had each other. Seamus was there with me. And Ginny. And Parvati. And when we came out of it, we all recovered together. But no one went through what you went through, and no one was there after."

"Fred-"

He continued on, cutting me off. His dark eyes were hard on mine, trapping me in his fierce gaze. "When you were naked this morning in your flat, I couldn't look at you. Not just because you were naked; witches are all generally witch-shaped when you get their clothes off." More bright color flooded his face, like he was going to start glowing. "I've seen things, I helped track down some of the last Death Eaters. You mentioned the hardness in my eyes, it's there for a reason. But I've never seen anyone alive with all of this." Three blunt-tipped fingers, warm from his coffee cup, traced the parallel scars that ran from up my forearm, from my wrist nearly to my elbow, pushing the sleeve of my jumper up with them. "It's hard to look at, and I'm sorry. You survived. But you've been mostly alone, and you've never been able to get past just surviving, to living again. And that means that if they make me choose between being there for someone who is so desperate for human contact that she willingly touched the first person in who knows how long who showed her a little bit of decency and kindness, and people who've done most, if not all of their recovering, I'm going to choose the person who needs me." His hand closed around my elbow. "You-"

He was cut off by a rather insistent knock at the door. He looked in the direction of the stairs down to the foyer. In just a moment, the noise was repeated, escalated to a pounding. "Fucking hell."

"I've never heard you swear before. I mean, you did earlier, but I never heard you swear when I used to know you."

"Something I've picked up." He got his feet just as the door opened.

"Neville?" Harry. Harry sounded worried. "Neville, are you home?"

"Upstairs." He let go of my arm and turned to face the stairs.

I heard the muffled footfalls as Harry ran up the gray-carpeted stairs, and he paused when he got to the top, staring between Neville and I. I noticed that Neville shifted until he was mostly standing between us. "Why are you pounding on my door at this hour of the morning?" He was still angry, I could see the flush at the back of his neck, but he kept his voice calm.

"I got your message." Harry didn't sound very happy, either. I couldn't see the green eyes, nor the glasses that covered them, but I could imagine the spark of anger burning behind them.

"And telling you that I had a change of plans and wasn't going to come watch Quidditch today warranted charging over here and banging at my door?" It was an accusation more than it was a question. "Bursting into my house like I'm some kind of criminal?"

"Something happened, Neville." Worry, concern, and buried deep underneath was a little thread of guilt. "Robards told me last night that you've been moved to Spook Duty?" It came out as a question. "It's been... Thirty years since someone did Spook Duty, it's an empty position. Something is going on."

"I've been reassigned." The reply- clipped, terse. Neville was telling Harry with his tone that Harry's presence here was unwelcome.

Which Harry promptly ignored. "Right," came the incredulous reply. "You're a good Auror. I don't want your talents wasting away in an empty position where you won't actually _do_ anything."

"I can't discuss it, Harry, but it's not an empty position."

"No, Hermione looked into it. Apparently 'Aurors Assigned to the Department of Mysteries' was started to help protect the Unspeakables from Grindelwald. Then when he was gone, it was somewhere to shuffle off the pensioners until they actually wanted to retire." Harry took a deep breath like he did when he was trying to calm himself down. "Grindelwald is long gone and you are nowhere close to being a pensioner. So what the fucking hell is a good Auror like you doing in a nothing position?"

"I don't have to justify a promotion to you. Is that what this is, you're bogged down with Robard's paperwork because you're the future Head of the Aurors and I got a promotion?"

"It's not..." He was raising his voice. Harry shouted when he was angry. I appreciated that he was making the effort to stop, shouting with the echo was terribly unpleasant for me. "Luna just happens to be here, sitting at your table." He shifted, and suddenly I could feel his hard stare around Neville's arm. I was watching Neville's body as he interacted with his friend.

Neville shook his head. I could see the set of tension in his shoulders, even under his jumper. "Luna's my friend. You used to be friends with her too, in case you forgot."

Harry paused, and his attention turned back to Neville. "You know she killed someone, right? The killing curse."

From what I could see, Neville didn't react to the news. "Luna's in the Department of Mysteries, Harry. I would assume that if she killed someone, it was necessary for her to do so."

"In the lobby of St. Mungo's."

"I destroyed some photographs too, are you forgetting that part?" I asked softly, my fingers curling around my wand. "Everyone seems to forget that part." I was fairly certain I wasn't going to have to use it, Neville would keep me from needing to. It comforted me, though.

"And then you sat near the body and smiled." I could hear the tremor in Harry's voice as he addressed me, remembering that day.

"And then you, Hermione, and Ron tried to have me admitted to the Janus Thickey Ward. I'm just lucky Fred was able to get Daphne to come to the hospital."

"Fred is _dead_, Luna. Dead."

"Of course he is." This always seemed to come up, as though I had insisted even once that Fred was anything other than what he was.

"What are you doing here, Harry?" Neville sounded tired now. He wanted the altercation to be over with. I did as well, but it was his house.

"She does nothing but hurt people. I don't want her to hurt you."

"Luna hurt me?" He glanced back at me, face filled with incredulity. "Luna hurt _me_? Are you completely mad?" He came to my side, turning his back on Harry. "Show him," he urged me, just like Gideon had.

I shook my head, clutching my arms to me. My blue jumper was soft, still a little damp from the rain outside, and I slid the sleeve back down to cover my arm before Harry could see anything. "I don't want sympathy. I don't want him thinking that what I've been through is an excuse for my perceived madness."

He smiled, but there was a pointed lack of humor present. "And, of course, Fred is an Unspeakable matter." Frustration lurked in his warm brown eyes.

I nodded. "There's good reason for that. It wouldn't matter if he wasn't, Neville, we've had that conversation before."

"Hello, still here." Harry sounded somewhat put out at being ignored.

"About that..." Neville turned back around. "I think it's time for you to leave. We have a lot to do today."

Harry looked like he was going to protest. "I'll be in touch." It sounded a bit like a warning. "Be careful." After another look at me, he went down the stairs and left, and I heard the door open and shut.

I took my wand from my dress pocket and cast _Homenum Revelio_. We were alone. "It's true," I answered the unasked question on Neville's face. "I killed someone. Daveth Travers. The photographs he was carrying were photographs he took of... of me, and Anders Selwyn. He was going to show them to Daddy, he made mention of selling them to the Daily Prophet as well. He always did like to talk a lot." I shook my head. "All he did was talk, though, so he wasn't so bad. But he took exception to me trying to take the photographs away, and I had to stop him from hurting anyone else."

"So you killed a former Death Eater who was trying to torture an innocent man, and Harry thinks you're somehow dangerous to me?"

"I think Harry wanted me to let the Aurors deal with it. And of course, the method I used." I thought for a moment. "And the smile. I don't think anyone is supposed to be happy to kill someone. Harry wasn't happy to kill Voldemort." I traced my finger along the crease in the tablecloth. "I was. He hurt Daddy, and he was trying to hurt him again." I drew my knees up to my chest, resting my heels on the edge of the chair seat, and wrapped my arms around them.

"I don't think life can be separated into black and white like that. I can't say I wouldn't have been happy if I was the one to kill Bellatrix." He came back over to me and held out his hand, and after a moment, I took it. He pulled me gently upright, I slid my feet to the floor to let him. "Are you all right?"

"It keeps coming up, Neville. During the day. No one reminds me I killed someone, or asks me about what happened, or talks about anything. But they have, lately, and I don't really like it." My fingers dug into his warm hand. "I need to be able to get away from the memories to hide them again. I can't... I can't get away when it keeps coming up."

He looked down at me for a long moment, and I could see the ideas moving through his mind. "I'm going to leave all of the furniture and things here, I don't think there's going to be any room for it in your flat. I'll need my clothes, of course. Some books. I've got a couple of plants I'd like to bring with me, they'll fit out on your balcony as long as no one else goes out there." He smiled down at me, and I smiled gratefully in return. I knew what he was doing.

"I think Nargle would appreciate it."

His eyes widened. "Nargle?"

"My owl."

His smile spread across his face until he was chuckling. "If I get you a trunk, do you think you can pack some clothes? I need to get my plants ready to move."

"Of course." He still had possession of my hand, and he led me down the hall to the last room on the left. It was his room, obviously, but he hadn't taken the time to make his room really reflect him, either. In just a short time, he brought me a trunk, and I started levitating his clothes neatly into it from his wardrobe.

It was nice to have something to do that wasn't work, or moving around my house. The steady motion didn't really occupy my mind, but it was strangely soothing.

After a while, Neville appeared in the doorway. "All right, Luna?"

I nodded. "Just about done, I expect." I looked up and gave him a small smile. "I thought that I'd miss Fred more today; he went away right after he came back. But I like you, Neville, I think I've missed you more." I looked up into his face, searching his eyes for the answer to my next question. "Does that make me a bad friend?"

"I don't think so. We were close before..." There was a shine of guilt in his kind eyes.

"No guilt," I told him firmly. "The past is long behind us."

"Right." I saw his Adam's apple move when he swallowed. "And it's good to have more than one friend." He smiled. "Thank you for helping out."

I smiled too, and my face smiled with me. "I wanted to. I like being helpful, especially when you are so helpful to me."

**A/N: Holy balls this is a long chapter (in comparison to the other ones). Time permitting, I will be going back and re-editing the other ones to, uh, fix that. In addition, this is going to be entered in the Long Haul Competition III, since I finished the other one. **


	10. Chapter 10

It was late afternoon when we went to St. Mungo's. It hadn't taken that long to get Neville all packed up, but he'd insisted on getting me out for a walk through the hills by his house. His house was situated a little ways out of town; a lot of wizarding houses were, so that they wouldn't draw attention from Muggle neighbours with spells and Apparation.

It was nice to get out and walk in the rain. I didn't do a whole lot of walking anymore. I had done when I'd been younger, of course, but I found it hard to get out for it, even with Fred. I just didn't feel safe outside like that. But Neville made me feel safe. He held my hand securely in his, and when we were both soaked through from the rain and I was starting to shiver, he pulled me close against his side and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. Neither one of us said anything, we just walked.

I think both of us were hesitating, putting off going to see our parents as long as we could. It's hard to say goodbye. But at last, we arrived back at Neville's house. He took a shower, I used drying charms on my hair and clothes, and then I watched him move about the house in a state of anxiousness, checking to make sure he had everything he needed.

After he had everything, he led me back outside into the rainy afternoon. His arms came around me, and he held me to him for a few moments. I rested my cheek against the wool of his gray jumper, my eyes closed, my arms sliding around his own waist. I felt the gentle rise and fall of his chest under my ear as he breathed. I liked the breathing.

"Ready?" he asked after a while.

I nodded, and I felt myself spinning in the familiar sensation of side-along Apparation.

We landed in the alley beside the hospital, any noise from our arrival covered by the sounds of Muggle London just beyond. Neville held me against him for another couple of moments, offering me his strength and seeking the same from me.

He gently pulled away, his hand coming up to catch one of mine. I gripped his hand tightly as we went out to the busy street. No one was paying us any attention as we leaned our way into the lobby of the hospital.

We walked through the collection of people, both of us knew exactly where we were going. I had to stop myself from wrapping my other arm around his, I didn't want to disturb him with my need for physical touch. I paused just before the winding staircase, and Neville came to a halt beside me. I turned to him, looking up into this dark eyes. Warm eyes, usually, but clouded now with the apprehension of what was to come. The lobby was as loud as it usually was, but the noise fell away from my ears as I looked up at him. "I always see Mr Lockhart before I leave here, it helps cheer me up. He's always so happy to see visitors, and his happiness is very infectious."

He swallowed and nodded. He didn't speak, he couldn't speak just then, but his eyes said enough.

"Would you like to see your parents first?" It was a selfish offer. I wanted to put off seeing Daddy as long as I could.

"That's fine." His hand tightened on mine, and together we started up to the Janus Thickey Ward. "I'm nervous, Luna." We paused in front of the door to the room his parents had shared for the last nineteen-and-a-half years. The door was closed, looming up in front of us in a forbidding fashion.

"It's hard to say goodbye."

He pulled me around to face him and looked down at me. "What if I'm not making the right decision?"

I reached up and rested my hand gently against his cheek. "The right decision is often the hardest one." My voice was quiet, but he heard me, I saw the acceptance of what I'd said in his dark eyes. Eyes that were already hurting. I wished I could take away his hurt.

He straightened his back and squared his shoulders, and then turned and pushed his way into the room. "Tell me what you see." His voice was quiet, as though he was afraid he would give away his emotion if he was too loud.

I shook my head. They looked the same as they had the first time I'd seen them. Thin, lifeless, mere echoes of people. "Their bodies are there, but instead of the overlap of their souls like I see with you, it's just a..." I shook my head again. "Like the wizarding wireless, when you can't find the station and it makes that noise. Their souls look like that noise. It's hard to look at them, it looks like person-shaped prison." I knew what prison looked like.

His mum came over to him, a tentative smile on her round face, her hand outstretched.

"Hello, Mum," he greeted with a forced cheerfulness that wrapped me in sadness. With his free hand, he took a piece of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum from his pocket and handed it to her, and she was still smiling as she unwrapped the gum and put it in her mouth. Then she left us there, standing at the door, heading back through the room to the empty shell that was her husband.

He looked down at me again. "I can't," he breathed. "I'm not strong enough."

I told him the truth. "You're one of the strongest wizards I know, Neville Longbottom." I let him see the honesty in my face, the sincerity in my eyes.

He took a deep breath, and then nodded. I saw the hardness in his eyes as we walked through the room to where his dad was sitting on his bed, and his mum was standing and looking out the window. He sat down in one of the chairs, his grip on my hand almost painfully tight. "Mum, Dad..."

They looked at him, drawn by the sound of his voice. There was no recognition. He wasn't their son, he was just the blond man that visited them. My heart broke for him, for his pain.

"I came to say goodbye." His voice caught on the last word, and he cleared his throat and then swallowed. "Gideon Prewett, he was a friend of yours. He told me..." He cleared his throat again. "He told me that Alastor and Fabian are waiting for you. And Grandad, and..." I put my free hand on his shoulder. "I think... I think it'll be better for you. I'll be there to watch you go. Luna says it's peaceful."

They watched him, their bodies did, but said nothing. Those empty eyes stared at him, the way people in Muggle photographs do. Soulless, completely devoid of that inner fire of life.

He stood up and turned to go. He was stopped by his mum's hand on his arm. She held out the wrapper with another innocent, childlike smile, and he took it and put it in his pocket. "Thanks, Mum."

She smiled another bright, empty smile, and shuffled back into the depths of the room.

Neville's arm came around me, and he drew me outside the room into the hush of the hallway, letting the door swing shut behind us. His other arm came around me as well, and he held me to him, taking comfort more than offering it. I held him, I felt the hot splash of his tears against my scalp as he buried his face in the hair on top of my head.

I knew what comforted me, and I offered it to him, my arms wrapped around his solid body, holding him against me. "They'll see you," I told him quietly, no longer bound to keep my secrets from him. "The soul takes a moment to separate from the body and pass through the Veil. They'll see you, and you'll see them- really them and not just the shell of their bodies."

He was quiet for a time, and when he spoke, his voice was muffled by my hair. "What about Gran?"

"Do you want her there?" I asked. I felt him nod. He'd shaved before we'd come to St. Mungo's, and his cheek moved smoothly across my the top of my head. "Once it's been scheduled, Daphne will go to her house and tell her, and invite her to attend."

"Can I go instead? It should be me."

"Dear Neville, you've always been so brave." His arms tightened around my back, and I let him hold me against him. His jumper was scratchy under my cheek and smelled just of him, of earth and air and steel. "Maybe you can go with Daphne. Ask her on Monday."

I felt him nod again. After another long moment, he released me. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes were rimmed with the redness of his pain. He looked at me without saying anything, and then took my hand again. Together we walked down the hall to Daddy's room.

He wasn't there. He was propped up on his pillows, but his soul was the same visual static that the Longbottoms were. "He's not there," I told Neville. "I have to try and talk to him." I stared at Daddy for just a moment, and then I slipped away from Neville and went to sit beside him on the bed. I took his hand between both of mine. "Daddy?" I asked softly. His eyes focused on me. "Daddy, can you come back to me?"

"Luna?" And there he was, a clear echo of himself. He looked tired, drained. His soul was so weary, so tired of being held prisoner. It didn't make it any easier.

"Daddy, I need you to stay with me for just a short time. Can you please try?"

His soul nodded, his head didn't move. His eyes flicked around behind me, searching. "Fred?"

"Fred's not here today, Daddy. Neville is. Do you remember Neville?" They'd met a long time ago, when we were both happier. He shook his head. "That's all right. Would you... Would you like to be free?"

He looked at me, and his eyes widened and there was the start of one of his warm, comforting smiles, and then he was gone again. I squeezed his hand. "Daddy?" I lifted one of my hands from his, and rested it on his shoulder. "Daddy? Daddy, come back. Please come back."

I heard the charge nurse behind me, I heard her call my name. I heard the low murmur of Neville's voice. I didn't care about any of it, I just let it slide through my ears and right out again.

"Daddy? I need you to come back, please. Just answer me. Please answer me. I'm not... I'm not alone anymore, Daddy, but I can't... I need you to tell me its all right." I could feel my own tears leaving my eyes and falling down, down, getting lost on the sea of cloth that separated us. "It's nice there, Daddy. Fred says that it can be whatever you want it to be. Mum's there, she's been there a while now. I think she's waiting for you." I looked at the shell of his empty body; the blond hair gone lank, the hands that used to wipe away my tears now thin and bony, the skin stretched across them as though too much pressure would simply make it break. My heart hurt so much. "I have to go now, Daddy. I'll see you again, I'll see you one more time. You'll get to see where I work. It's not what we talked about, but I hope you'll understand. I love you, Daddy." I lifted my hand from his shoulder to his face, my fingers warm against the cool, paper-thin skin that covered the hollow of his cheek. "Goodbye, Daddy." I moved away from him, to where Neville was standing in front of the door that was now closed.

He caught my arm as I went by, pulled me against him. I let him, I let him hold me. I rested my cheek against his chest, my fingers catching against his shoulders, clutching him to me. "I don't think he's coming back anymore," I whispered against the wool of his jumper.

"I'm not going anywhere, Luna." His voice was at once filled with sadness and strength. Dear Neville.

We stood, we shared our pain, clinging to each other in the ocean of sorrow. We were still in Daddy's room, but we were alone. He wasn't there. He would never be there again. After a while, I lifted my head and looked up at him. I had no more tears left. "What did the nurse say?"

"She thought that you might need to leave." He smiled, but his eyes didn't. "It was the first time that I got to say we were here on matters related to the Department of Mysteries."

"It's fun to say that." My face didn't want to smile either, but I tried. "We should visit Mr Lockhart."

We left the room, I refused to look back. We continued down the hall to Mr Lockhart's room. The door was open to reveal him sitting at his table, writing, and the smile he wore when he saw me convinced my face to smile too. "Luna!"

"Hello, Mr Lockhart. How are you today?"

"Oh, very good, thank you. You came to visit not too long ago, but I'm glad you came to see me again." He stood up and came over to us. "Where's Fred?"

"He's not here today. This is my friend, Neville."

"Hello, Neville." He beamed at my friend, who offered a shaky smile back. It was hard not to smile when Mr Lockhart was so excited that we were there. "I remember you from the last time you were here. We counted. I like counting. And I remember now that I count myself." He beamed proudly.

"That's... great." Neville's tone was uncertain, but Mr Lockhart didn't seem to notice.

He turned his attention back to me. "I made something for you, would you like to see it?" He clapped his hands together as he spoke.

"I'd love to."

He took my hand and pulled me over to the table. I'd given him a Muggle notepad on one of my visits, and a large number of colorful Muggle pens. He flipped through the lined white pages until he came to something, and then carefully tore it out. He handed it to me, a smile on his face, his chest puffed up proudly.

I took the paper and looked down at it. It was my name, each letter in a different color. A blue L, a red U, a green N, and a purple A. Just beneath it was a crudely drawn rainbow, each line a different color. "It's very nice, thank you."

"You always look very sad when you come to see me. Rainbows make me happy, I think you should be happy too."

"This makes my heart smile," I told him. "I'm going to put this up on my wall, and then I can have a rainbow to look at whenever I want."

He looked so proud of himself. "You look like you could use a rainbow too. I don't know how to write your name, but I can draw you a rainbow!" Under Neville's bemused gaze, Mr Lockhart went back to his table and flipped to a fresh page of his notepad. With painstaking care, he picked up each pen one by one and drew the curved line of a rainbow.

While he was drawing, someone came in with a tray for him. "It's time for dinner now."

"Just a moment, and let me finish this drawing." We all waited patiently for him to finish, and then he carefully tore that piece of paper out and came over to hand it to Neville. "I like drawing rainbows."

"It's a very nice one," Neville said, still a little uncertain.

Mr Lockhart beamed, and then began clearing a space on the table for his tray. "I need to eat now. Will you come back and visit again?"

"As soon as I can," I promised. To my surprise, Neville was nodding as well. "Goodnight, Mr Lockhart."

"Goodnight, Luna. Goodnight, Neville."

We left him to eat. "I can see why you always visit him at the end of your time here," Neville said as we went back down the hall.

I had to nod. "He is such a dear man. He's got no one else who comes to see him."

"I'm not really surprised, he wasn't such a dear man before he lost his memory."

"No, he wasn't at all. I wish more people would give him a chance now, it is hard to be alone." It was a wish I shared for myself- but then we had both found Neville. I smiled a small smile. "I'm glad you're here with me."

He stopped walking and rested his hand on my shoulder, looking down at me very seriously. "I am too." His eyes left mine to check the heavy gold watch that rested around his wrist. "It's dinner time. Would you like to eat here, or did you want to go home and eat?"

I looked up at him, considering. "That all depends on if you feel like stew or not." It didn't really matter to me what we ate, food was food.

Neville smiled at me, a ghost of his full smile. "Why don't we eat here? Tomorrow you can show me where the grocery is, and I'll get some things and cook you a proper dinner."

I nodded again. "Tonight. I go at night, there are less people there."

"That's fine, it'll give me a chance to unpack a little." We still had to go back to his house in Yorkshire to gather his packed belongings and take them to my house. And I had some spellwork to do, to ensure that he could enter and leave the house without my specific permission, for when he wanted to go in and out when I wasn't there.

He took my hand again, headed downstairs to where we would be able to find something to eat. Our footsteps sounded loud as they fell on the polished floor of the corridors. I gripped his hand, and his caring brown eyes swung back to me for a moment. "What is it?"

"It's hard to live with me, Neville." My voice came out small, lost, but he still heard me. "You haven't moved in yet, it's not too late to... not."

He came to a complete stop, and his hands lifted to rest heavily on my shoulders, turning me to face him. He searched my eyes for a handful of moments. "How would you know if it's hard to live with you?"

"The other girls in the Ravenclaw dorm told me. Quite a few times, in fact."

"Listen to me," he said in that steady Auror voice filled with authority. "We're going to get something to eat. We're going to Apparate back to my house and collect my belongings, and then you're going to help me get settled in your flat. All right?"

I nodded, clutching tightly to Mr Lockhart's rainbow. My heart was brewing a potion of hope and anxiety and sorrow. I clung to the hope as I reached out and clung to Neville.

He let me.

**A/N: So this is a bit heavy. I tried to end it on a more positive note.**


	11. Chapter 11

I had another nightmare that night. It was the one with Selwyn, except I wasn't blindfolded. I could see everything he was doing. And this time there was a man there, watching, his face blank. A man with golden hair.

He made no move to help me, but he made no move to hurt me. He just watched, his eyes calculating and shrewd as unspeakable things were done to my body.

"Luna," someone was speaking to me, sounding very far away. Not Selwyn, not the man with the golden hair. "Luna, wake up."

The hand on my shoulder was Neville's, I realized as I was pulled out of sleep. He was crouched beside the bed, concern showing on his face in the dim light from the television, his dark eyes shadowed in the night.

I pulled away from him and sat up, drawing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. "How did you know?"

"You talk... you scream." My nightmare had bothered him, shaken him, and he seemed uncertain of what to do. Fred wasn't back yet, Gideon was gone. Neville had never pulled me out of a nightmare before, and he looked a little lost. "Can I sit with you?"

I nodded slowly. I watched him walk around the bed and climb into it, settling himself under my duvet against the chill in the room. He pointed to the television, glowing softly and barely audible in the still night. "You leave that on at night?"

"Fred watches it. He can use the remote control, slowly, and I've become used to it." The remote control was a small black rectangle, covered in buttons. Normally it stayed on the bed beside me, so Fred could use it while I was sleeping. That night, though, it was on the table beside the bed. It looked so strange sitting all the way over there.

"I'm assuming he's not here."

I shook my head. "No. Just us." That worried me a little. Fred hadn't come back yet, and he said he would be back that night. It was still night, though, there was still time for him to arrive.

He was frowning. "Can I touch you?"

I thought about it for a moment. "All right."

His hands came out, and he took ahold of my arm and my hip, pulling me over until I was lying down next to him, my head pillowed on his shoulder. "Gideon told me that sometimes you find it scary to be touched."

"Sometimes I do. When I can't see, or if it's from behind." I buried my face into his shoulder. "I don't like to be held from behind."

He turned towards me, holding me against him with one arm. My cheek was against the wall of his chest, my shoulder and my hip pressed against him. "Is this all right?"

I nodded. "You're very comfortable to lie with, Neville. Thank you." Thinking about being held when I couldn't see made me think about the nightmare. "There... There was someone else there. Someone besides me and..." I shook my head, refusing to say his name. "This likely doesn't mean much to you, but I want to talk about it before it fades away. It helps me remember when I can't go into work right away to write out a report."

"Whatever you need." His words rumbled in his chest reassuringly under my ear. I could feel him speaking. I could feel him breathing.

"He was a soul, Neville. I saw him at Hogwarts. I'd never seen him before that, I don't think he was alive very recently."

"Do you have any idea who he was?"

I thought for a long time, thinking of all of the people I'd seen in my life. "I don't. But him being in my dream means he's here, or he was."

"You can't see them all the time?"

"No. Gideon said that they only have a certain amount of presence, and they can either be a physical presence or a visual presence." I remembered what he'd asked when he'd commented on how strange it looked when I'd hugged Gideon. "When Gideon held me before he left, he completely disappeared. I couldn't see him, and neither could Fred."

"Doesn't that worry you? The idea that someone else is here?" It evidently worried him, I could feel his body shift as he looked around the room, as though he would be able to see the strange soul with the calculating eyes.

"A little. I worry that I'm going to be overwhelmed with people trying to get me to talk to their family members for them. That usually doesn't go so well." I thought for a moment. "And it means he followed Fred here, which is a little worrisome as well." And if he had followed Fred here, there was a chance he could get other souls to follow him to my flat. "But there's not really anything that either one of us can do about it. It takes so much effort to worry about things you have no control over, I think it's a lot better not to."

I could hear him breathing, feel the rise and fall of his chest against my upper arm. It was a little strange to feel him breathing. Gideon didn't breathe. Fred didn't breathe. It was very soothing, though, when I thought about it. It meant that he was alive. It meant that he wouldn't disappear to recharge, it meant that I would be able to see him when he touched me. I nestled against him, seeking solace against his skin.

And then... I could feel something else. "Do you want to have sex with me?"

There was a long moment of silence, weighted down by discomfort. "No."

"It feels like you do."

"I..." I felt him sigh. "I've wanted you since fifth year, all right?" He sounded a little frustrated, both with me and himself. "You were never afraid to be who you really were. And now you're not wearing anything, and you're..." He exhaled loudly. "The answer's still no. I don't think you're ready for anything like that, and for all I know, you just had a horrible nightmare about being raped. I can't control it." His hand moved through my hair, taking comfort as much as he was offering it. "But I need you to know you're safe with me."

"Thank you," I told him. "I do feel safe with you." It was strange, with my cheek against the warm skin of his chest, his arm a heavy weight over me, holding me under the cover of my duvet, I felt the safest I had in a long time. "It's very flattering. Fred flirts with me sometimes, mostly from habit, I think." I didn't want to confirm his suspicions about the nature of my nightmare, I had a feeling that he would start to feel very guilty about an autonomous bodily function. "I like this better than tea. You make me feel safe, and feeling you breathe is very soothing. I might even be able to go back to sleep. That would be good, my body is starting to get very tired after so many early mornings."

"Do you usually have the nightmares so many nights in a row?"

I nodded. "When they come up, it's hard to hide them again. And I keep... They keep coming up when I'm awake now, too." They seemed very far away just in that moment, though, lulled by the sound of Neville's quiet breathing, and the rise and fall of my hand where it rested on his bare side, just on his ribs.

I must have fallen asleep like that, because the next thing I knew, I was awakened by someone knocking at my door. It wasn't Harry's demanding pounding, or Hermione's angry insistence. And it was morning this time, later than I usually slept.

Neville gently extricated himself from me and sprang to his feet, his wand out in front of him. He glanced down at me, then went out to open the door as I found some clothing. "Can I help you?" I heard him ask. He sounded suspicious, not entirely welcoming.

I pulled on a soft yellow dress, and went out to join him, my bare feet moving quickly over the carpet. George was standing in the doorway, unable to come in. He was in the middle of saying something to Neville, but he cut himself off when he saw me around Neville's arm. "Right. So, I have an apology to make."

I looked at him for a moment. The last time I'd seen him, he'd threatened me. His eyes were different this time, though. They looked warm, happy, sparkling, like they had looked before Fred had died. "Come in."

Neville stepped aside, somewhat reluctantly it seemed, and let George come through the door. I noticed that he kept himself between us, and his wand was still held ready in his hand.

George was moving stiffly, like his muscles were hurting, but he seemed to be in a fairly good mood. His voice was very light when he spoke. "Last night I had a dream. And it wasn't just... I wasn't having a dream about him, I was having a dream about this blonde I met in..." He trailed off with a grin. "Right. Sorry. And then he was there, and he was trying to talk to me while I was-" He cut himself off abruptly. "I'm not sure I'm explaining this right."

It seemed fairly straight-forward to me. "You were having a sexual dream and Fred entered your dream?"

Neville started coughing, and George laughed. "That's about the size of it. I forgot how forward you are. Right, so Fred was talking to me and telling me I was being a stupid git, and that you were right, and he kept on about it. And then I woke up. I figured I'd come and have a word with you- just a word, mind- and he started beating the hell out of me." That probably explained the stiffness. "I told him that I'd wait until morning, and he stopped. And I tried to get back to sleep, but I couldn't, and then..." He trailed off again, meeting my eyes squarely. "I'm sorry, Luna, I'm so sorry."

I had to smile, both at his words, and at his tone when he talked about Fred. He didn't sound lost anymore, he didn't sound angry. He sounded whole, at peace. "It's all right. I'm glad you were able to talk to him."

"Is he... Is he here?" George started peering around like he'd be able to see Fred if he just looked hard enough.

"He is not. It's just us this morning." I gestured between Neville and myself.

"And you have no idea where he is?" Disappointment.

I shook my head. I moved over to where Neville was standing, and leaned my head against his chest. He stiffened, just for a moment, and then he put an arm around me. I was a little bit worried about Fred not having come back yet, and Neville being there helped me feel better.

There was a rather weighty moment of silence, and then George asked, "Did I wake you?" He sounded a little ashamed.

I nodded. "It's all right. It's probably time to get up for the day, so that we can get up at the proper time tomorrow for work." I was still rather tired- more tired than I'd been the day before. Having even a little bit of a good night's sleep seems to do that sometimes. "Would you like to stay for breakfast?" From the way he stiffened against me, Neville didn't think too much of the idea, but he didn't say anything.

"As long as I'm not intruding..." He sounded a little uncertain about the prospect.

I lifted my face to look up at Neville. "Why don't you have a shower, and I'll get breakfast together?"

His brown eyes flicked back and forth between me and George, and he looked decidedly unhappy. "No one can make me leave unless I let them," I reminded him, and at last he nodded. With one more wary look at George, he released me and went down the hall.

I went into the kitchen and started getting breakfast for the three of us. Neville had started drinking coffee because that's what most of the Aurors drank, and our shopping trip the previous night had yielded not only food, but a coffee press as well. "Would you like coffee or tea?" I asked George. I hadn't had guests in quite some time, but I'd been raised properly and I still remembered my duties as a hostess.

"Tea. Thanks." He sat down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table, and I could feel the weight of his eyes on me as I moved about, making coffee and tea and porridge for us.

"What did it feel like when Fred was hitting you?" I asked curiously. This was information that the Department of Mysteries would likely want.

"I'm surprised my nose isn't broken, to tell you the truth." I could hear the wryness in his voice.

"So it felt like it was actually happening? It wasn't dull or muffled? It felt like he was actually making contact with your skin?"

He paused for a moment, and I could feel him looking at me. "Strange questions."

"Important ones," I told him in a sing-song voice as I set the fragrant tea in the teapot to steep.

"It felt just like, well..." He broke off and chuckled. "We had a good few scraps we were boys, and us and Charlie and all. Felt just the same." I nodded at his words. I would have to put that in a report.

I was just finishing cooking the eggs when Neville came back down the hall, freshly showered and shaved and dressed. His eyes lingered on George for a moment before he got himself a cup of coffee and settled down at the table. "Why are you here?" he asked without preamble. He was using his stern voice, too, one of his Auror voices.

George hesitated for a moment before answering. "Fred told me to come and see Luna this morning, to apologize, and he wanted to speak with me." There was a question in his voice, as though he was now questioning what he'd been told.

"I'm not sure I like that," Neville replied. "Luna, did he ask you if he could have George come here for a conversation?"

I shook my head.

"I'm going to assume that he knew that you're worried about being overrun by people wanting to speak with deceased family members, because I know, and I've only really been a part of your life again for less than a week."

"It's fine, Neville," I said quietly. "Fred is my best friend."

"Then he should have been a little more considerate about how you would feel about this. And at least had the courtesy to be here when he said he would, so that he could tell you about this himself." Frustration wrapped his voice like a thick, dark cloak. Apparently, Neville had used his time in the shower to build up some anger.

I turned to him and rested my hand on his shoulder, the same way I'd been comforted for so long. The muscle along the top of his shoulder was tense, like he was ready for a fight. "It's all right."

He didn't say anything else, but I could tell that he was refusing to be soothed. His jaw was set unhappily, and he was glaring rather openly at George. I served both of them breakfast and sat down beside Neville with my own plate and cup of tea.

George was looking back and forth between us, a strange look on his face. "I can go if I'm interrupting."

"Ah, there's my favorite twin." Fred's voice pulled my attention towards my sitting room, and my movement forestalled any reply Neville might have made.

"Is he here?" Neville asked, and I nodded. He turned to face the same way. "Where were you?"

"Visiting Daphne." He had a broad grin on his face. "Why is everyone so serious?"

I was about to answer, but then Gideon was there, and then the room got lost in a sea of angry voices. Neville was speaking, and Gideon was yelling, and Fred was defending himself, and I got up and ran from the room, my head starting to split apart from the inside.

I closed the bedroom door and sat down on the floor to lean against it, using my wand to silence the noise coming from the other side. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, resting my cheek against the soft yellow fabric of my dress. Time passed, I didn't care to keep track of how long. I couldn't be out there.

Gideon appeared in front of me, looking the same as he always did in his open Auror's overcoat. "Are you all right?" There was a concerned expression on his face, touched just at the edges with guilt.

I lifted my head from my knee and nodded. "Too much noise."

He frowned, settling himself down on the bed to face me, his coat spreading out around him. "Sorry for that. Longbottom's knocking on your door," he informed me.

I pushed myself to my feet and slowly pulled the door open. Sure enough, Neville was on the other side, his arm raised as though he was ready to knock again. He looked a little rumpled, like his clothes had been violently disturbed since he'd put them on. "May I come in?" he asked politely.

I moved aside to let him in, and closed the door behind him before sinking back down to sit on the floor, my back firmly pressed against the door. He looked down at me for a moment, the expression on his face mirroring Gideon's. "Is anyone else in here?"

"Gideon," I replied, pointing to where Gideon was sitting on the bed.

"Good. I'm sorry about all of that. We had a bit of a fight, I'm afraid. I think Fred punched me, and then Gideon pulled him away."

"I did," Gideon confirmed.

"He did."

Neville sat down on the bed as well, to the side of where I'd indicated Gideon was. "I'm sorry, I'm just... I'm very angry." His words were clipped, terse, his voice was certainly angry.

"I agree with you, for what it's worth," Gideon said, which I relayed. "He should have been here last night to help you through your nightmares, Luna, and not off indulging himself with a witch."

"Indulging himself?" Neville echoed. "You mean-" he cut himself off abruptly, and I could see his his cheeks going that embarrassed shade of pink. "What do you mean, helping Luna through the nightmares?"

Gideon looked over at him as he answered, shifting in his seat just slightly so he didn't have to turn his head so much. "I think it's more beneficial to help her in overcome what's happening in the dreams. And while you woke her up, you're not able to enter the dreams and offer encouragement."

I told Neville that. "It does help," I added quietly. "But it's not right to expect Fred to completely devote his life to me. He's been stuck with just me for almost three years now, only able to see and interact with others in a limited fashion. It's natural that he would want to go out and actually interact with others himself."

"It's not very considerate of someone he considers his best friend," Neville said firmly, folding his arms across his chest, to which Gideon nodded. "You said the nightmares often come back a few nights in a row, he would have known that. He could have ensured that wasn't going to happen before he went off to..." He glanced over in Gideon's general direction, incredulity momentarily taking over his face. "You can really do that?"

"You felt him hit you, didn't you?"

Neville nodded, after I repeated the question. "Speaking of interacting with others, it's probably worth mentioning the soul that was in your nightmare."

Gideon turned back and looked at me sharply. "There was a soul in your nightmare?"

I told him about the golden-haired man, and he was frowning again. He rubbed a hand thoughtfully over his chin. "Best mention this to Daphne tomorrow."

I nodded. That had been my intention. "Did you find your answers?"

"Yes. Is it all right if we talk about that tomorrow as well?"

I nodded again. It would save having to have the same conversation twice, I could understand that. "I am very relieved that you're back," I told him quietly, trailing my fingers through the carpet. Even with his assurances, and Neville's, I'd been a little worried that Gideon wasn't going to come back.

He smiled gently and stood up, coming towards me. He offered me his hand and I took it, and then it vanished as he pulled me to my feet. "I made you a promise, and it was important to me that I kept that promise." He continued to draw me towards him, and I closed my eyes to enter his embrace. "You mentioned that there were four... antagonists, do you usually dream about all four of them before the nightmares stop?"

I shook my head, closing my eyes and relishing the familiar feel of his shirt against my cheek. He didn't breathe, but he was still safe, familiar.

"Can you talk about it, Luna? I think it's important."

"What's going on?" Neville prompted. I hadn't been telling him what Gideon had been saying.

I took a deep breath. "Gideon wants me to talk about the nightmares."

"I think that's a good idea," he said slowly. "That's part of how Voldemort was able to get so much power, people didn't want to talk about him, and so the fear made him scarier to everyone."

"My nightmares aren't like Voldemort." I thought for a moment. "Maybe they are. Talking about them seems to make them come back."

"Maybe they're not, but the principle is the same. I've had a lot of experience with overcoming fear, Luna." I heard him sigh. "We're right here. Neither one of us is going to hurt you."

I stepped away from Gideon and opened my eyes. Gideon was visible again, and I looked back and forth between the two of them. They had similar determined looks on their faces, both sets of brown eyes watching me with a blend of concern and expectation. "I'm... I don't want to talk about it. There are things that no one should hear. I don't want sympathy. I need to be able to look at you and see that you don't feel sorry for me."

"So don't talk about what happened. Talk about the nightmares." Gideon regained his seat on the bed next to Neville, and patted the space between them. It was a small space, just big enough for me to fit in.

I nodded, slowly. Maybe I could do that. My steps were small, hesitant, but in just a moment I was sitting on the duvet between them. I took a deep breath, my fingers twisting together in my lap as I stared at my fingernails. "The ones with Fenrir and Selwyn are the worst. They come back the most."

"We killed him, you know. Me and Ron did." I looked over to see Neville watching me, his kind eyes at once worried and reassuring.

I laid my head against his shoulder. "Thank you, Neville. The ones with the Lestranges aren't so bad, they only..." I shook my head. "They're not so bad. They don't come back so often. And most of the time, it's not so bad. I have the nightmares for a few nights in a row, Fred wakes me up, I have tea and go to work and hide them again. But lately they've been... They've been alluded to during the day. It's been so hard to hide them."

"But you got back to sleep this morning," Neville reminded me gently, and the movement of his shoulder under my head made me remember how I had been able to fall asleep again.

"You got back to sleep?" I could feel Gideon's eyes on me. "What happened?"

"Neville came and held me. He breathes."

An incredulous chuckle came from my left. "Well, he would. It's a requirement of living." Gideon rested his hand in the middle of my back.

"It's very soothing, the breathing," I told him.

Fred appeared in front of me. He looked at the three of us seated together on the edge of the bed, and his eyebrows came up a little like they did when he was surprised. "Cozy. George is off. He fixed the table for you."

"Fixed the table?" I straightened up, peering at my best friend for some hint as to what had happened. "What happened to the table?"

"I might have thrown him into it." A look over at Neville showed him getting a bit pink around the ears again as he was studying his hand where it rested on his knee. He didn't look like he'd been in any kind of altercation, but then the two of them knew the simple healing spells that would ensure that. It would explain his clothes being quite disturbed.

"Oh. I'm glad it's fixed, then." I stood up and went to Fred, stopping just in front of him and looking up into his eyes. "You should go to see him tonight, I know you have a lot to talk about."

"I don't..." His brown eyes flicked behind me to where Neville and Gideon were sitting on my bed. "I don't know that it's such a good idea, love." He reached out and brushed his hand over my shoulder. "I wasn't here last night, I'm sorry."

"It's all right. I made it through." I smiled a small smile. "I even went back to sleep. Neville breathes."

"I..." His eyes flicked to the living Auror behind me again. "Yes. He does."

"You should go and see George, Fred. He hasn't been whole without you in his life. It's very hard to miss someone so desperately. He's been so hurt and so angry, and I think he needs you right now, even more than I do."

His hand settled on my shoulder, heavy and reassuring. "You know I love you, right? And that if you really need me here, I'll stay?"

I reached up to cover his hand with mine. "I know. But you've been tethered to me for so long, I think... I think you need some time away."

He leaned down towards me, and his lips brushed against my forehead, making me smile. My face smiled with me. "I'll come back to check on you. Or I'll come to work with Daphne tomorrow." And then he was gone, leaving me alone in the room with the two Aurors.

I didn't hear him moving, but I could feel Gideon's hand as it brushed over my back. "You do need him," he told me.

I turned towards where he was standing behind me, the smile on my face a slightly sad one. "He's been entirely devoted to me for so long now, I think he needs to be away from me more than I need him here." The smile turned up, my face making the expression happy again. "And you're here now, and Neville is here." I turned to Neville and held out my hand to him, and he stood and took it, my small hand almost disappearing in his much larger one. "I need to help you finish unpacking, too."

"You need to finish eating," Neville told me gently, and drew me back out to the kitchen to finish my breakfast.

**A/N: I wasn't able to update this yesterday like I wanted, but it's here now!**


	12. Chapter 12

The nightmares didn't return that night. I was lulled to sleep by the rise and fall of Neville's shoulder under my head, his arm across my stomach as he held me close against him. Gideon had briefly protested that Neville was taking his side of the bed, but since he wasn't actually sleeping, he ceded the point fairly quickly. He sat up on my other side, the solid weight of his hand on my back a comforting presence until I was lost to pleasant dreams.

It was nice to wake up without the grip of terror and unpleasant memories, nestled firmly into Neville's chest. He had a scent, too, that was something soothing that Fred and Gideon were missing. Neville had always smelled faintly of soil, rich and earthy, and he did even now. My balcony was crowded with various plants, likely the source of the smell. Nargle seemed to like the company.

"Good morning," Gideon greeted quietly from my other side. I wasn't entirely certain why he was taking so much care to be quiet, since Neville couldn't hear him anyway. " You slept well." He sounded rather pleased about it; indeed, when I looked over to see him, he was smiling.

"It was nice for a change," I said quietly. "I hope you weren't too bored."

"Trust me, I would rather be bored." He slid off the bed and stood, leaving room for me to get up as well in a way that wouldn't disturb Neville.

As soon as I started to move, though, his arm tightened around me and his eyes flew open, already alert. He looked at me for a moment, a surprising lack of sleep remaining in his brown eyes. "You didn't have any nightmares last night." It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement of fact.

I shook my head. "I didn't. I was just about to get up. How did you sleep?"

"Very well. I'd forgot how nice it can be to sleep beside someone." There was a sound a lot like a chuckle from my other side, but Neville couldn't hear it. "What time is it?"

I thought for a moment. "Half-past six." Plenty of time for the two of us to have a shower and eat before we had to go to work.

"Why don't you shower first, and I'll make breakfast?" He took his arm back and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

I got up as well, and left both of them in my room while I went down the hall to shower. Both Aurors were still in a reasonably pleasant mood when I went into the kitchen, freshly clean and dressed for work.

The kitchen was filled with the rich smell of Neville's coffee, and I took a deep breath in. I didn't care much for the taste of it, but there was something comforting about the smell. Neville set a full plate down in front of an empty chair, and we sat down to eat together.

Gideon looked faintly amused, one corner of his lips pulled up into a half-smile. "You look rather more relaxed than you have since I've known you," he observed, leaning his forearms onto the table. He was wearing the Auror's overcoat as he always did, the shirt beneath a deep purple color.

I related the observation to Neville, who eyed me critically, then nodded in agreement. "You've more color in your cheeks," he added.

"I feel like until last night, I hadn't had a good sleep in such a long time."

"Even though my nephew isn't here?" Gideon queried.

"Yes. He's happier, and that makes me happy." I smiled brightly. Fred had missed George the same way I'd missed my dad- he was there but not there. Now Fred had George back. The more I thought about it, the more the happiness bubbled up inside of me, seeking a way out. I got up and moved around to where Neville was, stooping down to wrap my arms around him and rest my head against his shoulder. He'd pulled on a white T-shirt when he'd got out of bed that morning, and the fabric was a little rough under my cheek.

He stilled for a moment, then he put his fork down and reached around me to pat my back. "Not that I'm complaining, but you never used to be this affectionate." I made to pull away, but his hand on my back held me in place. "It's all right, Luna, just an observation."

After another moment, he let me slip away from him, and I sat back down to finish my breakfast. A look over to the side of the table Gideon was seated at showed him looking even more amused than he was before.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"It's good to see you like this."

While Neville was getting ready for work, I cleaned up after his breakfast-making efforts and tidied the kitchen. Gideon watched from his seat at my table, the same seat that Fred usually sat in. I was struck again by the similarities between the two men- and the differences. "How old were you?"

"When I died? 28." That was why he looked older than Fred did.

It didn't take Neville long to get ready, and then he was back in my kitchen in his own overcoat, his wand holstered at his hip. We flooed to the Ministry, and Gideon came to work with us to work, of course.

I moved as quickly through the loud Atrium as I usually did, headed directly for the lifts before the ocean of noise grew too much for me. Thankfully, one of the lifts was waiting for us, and we were whisked quickly down to level nine.

I didn't even bother going into my own office, instead heading directly for Daphne's open door. She was already behind her desk in her office, smiling to herself. "There you are," she greeted us in a jaunty tone. "Come in, have a seat."

I walked in and settled myself in one of the chairs in front of her desk. Neville shut the door but remained standing, his hand loosely clasping he opposite wrist in front of him as he stood there easily, relaxed but wearing a mantle of readiness. "Your heart is happy," I observed, making her smile widen into a grin.

"I am. It was quite a good weekend, I think." Her green eyes moved over me, taking in my expression, the lack of tired shadows under my own eyes. "You do as well, Luna. I'm glad to see you looking a little better, I was starting to get a little worried about you."

Gideon settled himself in the other chair, glancing between the two of us. "I'm all right," I told her quietly. "Gideon is here, he's sitting right beside me."

"Excellent. I understand he was successful," she said, looking over at the indicated chair.

I nodded. "That's what he said."

"Fred told me." She blushed, just a little. I'd never seen her blush before. Her cheekbones tinged with pink, and she looked down for a moment, shifting some of the paper around on her desk without doing anything with it. "He's with George today."

"I'm glad he is." I was smiling again, and Gideon reached out his hand towards me. I took it and squeezed it as it disappeared. It kept me from getting up to hug Neville again. "He missed George the most, and I know George wasn't really whole without him there. I'm glad they have each other again." Thinking about Fred and George made me think of my dad again, and I could feel the expression drain from my face, like water swirling down a drain. I took a deep breath, and now Gideon was squeezing my hand to reassure me. "I want to start the process to help Daddy move on."

"I do too. For my parents, I mean," Neville added from behind me. His voice was touched with the same knowing sorrow that I'd heard in my own words.

Daphne's green eyes flicked between us, and she was silent while she considered both of us. She knew this was something I'd been struggling with for a while, and I could see approval and compassion melting together in her face. "All right. I'll start the process, I'll have the paperwork in your office this afternoon." She picked up her quill and made a quick note on a piece of paper. "And you, Longbottom, you're getting your own office. It should be ready by tomorrow morning. Until then, though, do the two of you mind sharing space?"

I shook my head. Behind me, I heard Neville shift. "No. I assume most of my duties here will be directly assisting Luna."

"For the time being. I'll have your paperwork sent to Luna's office as well." Despite the expression on her face, she didn't make any movement toward me. She expressed her concern differently; she would likely make sure she had something she knew I would appreciate waiting for me in my office later. "Is there anything else before we get started?" I shook my head, and she set up a Steno-Quill, made by George, actually, and more reliable than a Quick-Quotes Quill, and looked again at the seat beside me. "Whenever you're ready, Mr Prewett."

"Germany." Daphne frowned when I related that, but she didn't say anything. "The influx of souls wasn't here, it was in Germany. It was the 1940s, that's all I could pin down for a date. The first half of the decade."

She leaned forward, folding her hands on the desk in front of her, but remained silent. Her eyes urged him to go on.

He continued. "No one could tell me who it was, most of the souls that were involved went to sleep shortly after they were able to return to the other side."

She did interrupt then. "To sleep?"

Gideon gave her a patient smile. "When a soul passes beyond the Veil, time ceases to pass, because there is no reason for it to do so. You can do anything you like, for as long as you like. No need to stop to eat or sleep. If you wish to paint, an easel will appear. If you wish to write, a quill and parchment will appear. The novelty wears off after a time, usually, and we just want to rest. And so we sleep. There is nothing beyond the final sleep. It's just... Nothing."

She stared at me thoughtfully, tapping a fingernail against one of the files on her desk. "Is that the final death, then?"

He took his hand back from mine, folding his hands loosely across his stomach. "No. You can wake if you wish, some do."

"So after they'd been forced onto this side, the souls just wanted to rest after they got back." It wasn't a question. Beside her, the quill scratched away at the paper, writing down everything that was being said, almost without pause.

"Yes. The one I spoke to was told by the soul who found him when he passed beyond the Veil, who was told by someone who had actually been involved, so I'm not certain of the validity of this information, but it was suggested that whoever brought them over was using Dementors to torture them into doing what he wanted."

"Well, that sounds... unpleasant."

"And so were the things they were forced to do. Allegedly." He shifted in his seat, settling his overcoat around him. "Most of it was manipulated nightmares, but there was some amount of physical torture as well."

Daphne sat back in her chair and looked up at Neville, who had remained silent during the exchange of information. "Spook Duty was started in 1940." He must have shown some surprise, because she smiled a very guarded smile at him. "Knowledge is power, Longbottom. That's sort of what we do here."

"Harry came to see me on Saturday, he was quite put out that I'd been reassigned to an empty position." I could hear the thread of anger at the memory.

"I imagine he was. Your file indicates that you're very competent. Whatever the position has become, though, it was started as a protective force." She paused. Her eyes rested on me for a moment before directing themselves behind me again. "Are you up on your Muggle Studies? Know about the Muggle war that was going on at the time?" She paused, and he must have nodded. "Right. I haven't been able to look through it as much as I've wanted to, but it looks like Unspeakables in countries that had been conquered by the Muggle German forces started turning up missing. Spook Duty seems to have been in response to that."

"And then the Muggle war ended, and then our war began, and the position was eradicated," came the thoughtful observation from beside me.

Daphne looked startled that I spoke again to relate that, apparently she hadn't thought Gideon would have anything more to say.

"Which begs the question, why is this a concern? I know why I'm here, and I'm fairly certain that my position is going to be largely administrative. Which I'm all right with," Neville rushed on to say as a warning look took over Daphne's face. "I knew what I was getting myself into. But you're worried about it? Why? I know what they can do, Fred gave me a few good whacks, and I can imagine the dream thing could get a bit unpleasant, but why would they come back here when they can do whatever they want beyond the Veil?"

She sat back, the expression on her face turning shrewd. "Forewarned is forearmed. I think it's a good idea to prepare ourselves for the inevitability of it happening again. It's only a matter of time before one of the more technologically-advanced Muggle nations gets involved in another war, and we would be foolish to assume that another of our kind wouldn't use that as a screen to further their own agenda."

"We're very lucky Voldemort didn't care to delve into the Department of Mysteries," I added softly. "I don't think any of us would be here right now if that had happened."

Daphne looked startled again. It was easy to forget I was in a room, it happened a lot. "Right."

"Tell her about the other soul," Gideon urged me, and I nodded.

"When I went to Hogwarts on Friday, there was another soul there. He didn't say anything, he just looked at me. And then on Saturday night, he was in my nightmare. Just watching." I shuddered, drawing up my feet to rest on the seat, holding my knees to my chest. "I didn't like the look in his eyes. He looked... He looked at me just the same way Selwyn did, as though he was wondering exactly what purpose he could use me for."

Gideon and Neville reached for me at the same time, a large hand settling on one of my shoulders, Gideon's hand gripping mine again.

Daphne was frowning. "What did he look like? Did you know him?"

"Golden hair, blue eyes. His eyes were not very kind eyes."

"He didn't try to talk to you at all? He didn't show up when you were awake?"

I shook my head. "He must have followed Fred to my flat."

She pointed at me, but she was looking at Neville again. "That. That's why I'm worried. For the past two years and ten months, Fred has been the only soul Luna has seen on this side. And now, suddenly, there have been three more in less than a week." She looked at me. "He didn't come back last night, did he?" When I shook my head, she sighed. "It's probably too much to hope that he's satisfied his curiosity and moved on. If you need to, you can sleep in the Death Chamber."

"Dreamless Sleep, does it... Does it make it so that souls can't enter your dreams as well?" Neville asked.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Daphne held up her hand to stop me. "I know it makes the nightmares come back during the day, but you were starting to look a little ragged, Luna. I would rather you have some on hand if you needed it for a night." She looked over to where Gideon was sitting. "But before we get ahead of ourselves, does it work like that?"

"It might, in theory. I'm not entirely sure how it stops the dreams, but if it stops the dreams from being generated as opposed to simply blocking the imbiber from seeing the dreams, then it would work that way."

"I'll test it tonight." From the way her eyebrows drew together, she didn't look entirely happy about the decision. She started rifling through the files on her desk. "Wait just a moment, Luna. This is a bit of a long shot, but I want to see..." She frowned in concentration as she moved through the files. "There." She pulled out a photograph and leaned forward to hand it to me. "That's not him, is it?"

I took the photograph and looked at it for a moment. "It is," I told her softly and laid the photograph down on the desk. He had that same look in his eyes, even as he stared out at me from the glossy picture.

"Well. This is..." She sat back and looked at me for a long moment, and I could see the worry coming to the surface of her eyes. "You haven't seen him since he was in your nightmare?"

I shook my head.

"I'm going to hope like hell that he went back beyond the Veil instead of coming here, then." Her lips set into a grim line, and she wore a sense of foreboding like a dark cloak. "That young man is Gellert Grindelwald. It's not a stretch to assume that he was the force behind the influx of souls in Germany." Her words fell on the floor like knives. "If you see him again, I'm going to need you to stay home and have Longbottom send me a Patronus."

I looked at her, considering. "The entire building will have to be quarantined. It's wizarding flats." Which meant that he could simply attach himself to anyone and be free to move about our world.

She nodded. Her hand balled into a fist, the knuckles pressing up white against her skin. "This is... This, Longbottom. This is why I'm worried. We have to assume that he's been here. So..." She thought for a moment, shaking her head. "Today will be spent soul-proofing the archives." A rather pained smile showed on her face. "How are you with charms?"

He shifted behind me. "Quite good, actually; my highest mark after Herbalism."

"Good." Her eyes came back to me. "I know you're quite proficient, Luna. I think your research may be very important in the near future, but for today, this must take precedent." At my nod, she turned to Gideon's chair. "Mr Prewett, I'll need you on hand with Luna as well. I understand that you can't cast any spells, but as the rest of us are going to be quite occupied, I'm going to need you to watch for Grindelwald. If you see him, or anyone you think looks even remotely like him, I need you to tell me." Her face was set, her determined making hard lines out of her muscles.

"That's fine," he answered, which I relayed to her. His other hand lifted the photograph from the desk for a moment, and he studied it until he lost his grip and it fell through his hand to rest on the desk again.

Daphne stared at the paper for a moment, then shook her head as though bringing herself back into her body. "Do any of you have any questions at this time?"

None of us did.

**A/N: The muse has been argumentative, even about editing. But... Here we are! Hopefully next week's update will be a little earlier in the week.**


	13. Chapter 13

It was a long day. We went home and heated up some stew, Neville wasn't up to cooking. Even Gideon was a little subdued, preferring to just sit in silence instead of engaging me in conversation or interacting with Neville. They'd worked out a basic system of communication that consisted of Gideon tapping Neville on the shoulder in sequences that meant yes and no and other common words. It was quite fascinating to watch, but neither one of them really seemed up to it.

Shortly after dinner, Neville gave me a hug and a tired smile, and told me he'd be just down the hall if I needed him before going to his own room to sleep.

After I tidied up the kitchen, Gideon followed me to my room, where I took off my clothes and got into bed and quickly fell asleep. He sat up on my right, his eyes on the flickering television, his hand smoothing my hair back from my forehead.

It wasn't a good sleep. Not one of my normal nightmares, but nothing at all pleasant. I was dreaming about climbing oak trees and looking for mistletoe, something I usually enjoyed, when I became aware of something I very much didn't want to see.

I tried not to see it, but it wasn't going away. It- him. The large man with the gray hair and jagged teeth. Fenrir Greyback. He was standing on the grass underneath the tree, his stance loose and ready at the same time, looking up at me with _that_ look in his eyes. I didn't like that look in his eyes. This wasn't my normal nightmare with him in it, he was out-of-place the same way Gideon and Grindelwald were out-of-place when they entered my dreams. _He was there._

I didn't remember climbing down the tree, but there I was on the ground, facing him, the grass soft under my bare feet. I kept the tree at my back so he couldn't sneak up behind me. "What do you want?"

"I heard you've been dreaming about me, little girl." His eyes moved over me, and I couldn't suppress a shudder. There were a lot of things I would have given up to never see that look again. "Bit bigger now, though, aren't you?" He took a step towards me.

"What do you want?" That empty pleasantness, that neutral blankness. I pulled it around me like a blanket.

"I wish I could smell your fear, little girl." He grinned an unpleasant grin, all of those teeth staring at me hungrily. "I remember it. Sweet, you were, like biting sunshine."

My hands dug into the bark behind me. It felt real, rough, like I was in danger of giving myself splinters. "What do you want?" My voice came like it was very far away from me, from us. I wished I was far away with my voice.

"Just a little chat, that's all." He stayed where he was, and spread his hands wide, a gesture of harmlessness. He was far from harmless, I knew.

"You never spoke a lot. Selwyn, he spoke often. You... You preferred to use your mouth for other things." The mound of scar tissue on my elbow, the biggest he'd left in one place, seemed to twitch in the memory of what he'd done, like the scars were trying to crawl off my arm.

"Not my fault you tasted so good." He snapped his teeth together at me, then resumed his feral grin. "I wonder if you still taste the same."

"I don't think you'll be able to find out, and I'm not sorry at all."

"But this is a dream, little girl. You'll find anything can happen in a dream." He took a step toward me, his muscles tensing like he was getting ready to strike. So familiar, so unwelcome.

I very much wanted my wand. And then my fingers were curling around it, the wood smooth and comforting. "Then I can kill you in my dream, like I did in my nightmare."

He came towards me in a blur of motion, and I was screaming, and then a hand closed on my shoulder and I sat straight up in bed. "He's here," I whispered desperately, clutching at the hand resting on my shoulder. I wanted it away from me, I wanted to cling to it.

"I know." Gideon's tone was grim as he took both of my hands in his, holding them firmly. "You need to breathe." His voice was his Auror's voice, steady and firm. I nodded, gripping his hands, my breath coming in short puffs through my nose. I needed to breathe.

Neville was in the door, wand in his hand, illuminated by the television. "What happened?" The light came on, and his expression was very worried.

"Greyback is... Here. In my flat. In the room, Neville, right here in the room."

"Fucking hell." Neville's hand balled into a fist and connected heavily with the door frame. "I'll send a Patronus to Daphne."

I shook my head. "She took a Dreamless Sleep potion tonight."

"Fuck!" He stared at me, unhappy, seeming uncertain of what to do.

When Gideon spoke again, his voice was patient. His words were not. "Tell Longbottom to get his arse over here, or I'll going to have something very physical to say to him."

"Gideon thinks you should be over here." It was easier to relate what Gideon said, easier to just let my mind go and let my ears tell my mouth what to say. My mind could hide that way, be away from the very unpleasant present.

"Right. Sorry." He crossed to the bed and came around to sit on the other side of me from Gideon, pulling me against him. "You're shivering." He picked up the duvet and wrapped it securely around me, holding me closely against his chest, tucking my head against his shoulder. "So what do we do?" He wasn't asking me.

I could feel myself shaking against him, the vibrating of my body hardly muffled by the thick bedding he'd wrapped around me. My first instinct was to run as far and as fast as I could, to flee to the safety of the Death Chamber in the Ministry. It would be cold there. Cold and lonely. I desperately wished for lonely.

I buried my face in Neville's neck, breathing in his reassuring earthy smell. My hand slid up over his chest, coming to still right over his heart. I felt his life beating under my skin, I felt his chest move up and down as he breathed. I clung to the solid realness of him.

"Well, isn't that nice. You let him have a taste, little girl?" Greyback was standing by the door, too close, _too close_,looking down at me. He took in the Aurors and dismissed them as being unimportant, his hurtful eyes focused solely on me.

I closed my eyes so I couldn't see him, but then they flew open again. I had to see him. I had to see that he was across the room, looking at me. If he was in the doorway, he wasn't near me, behind me.

"Longbottom, you need to send Daphne and George a Patronus. Whoever he's with, Fred should see it; tell him to go and get help. And tell him he's going to need to come back here when he gets back." Gideon's voice was careful and authoritative, but before I could relay what he said, Greyback spoke again.

"Don't think you can handle me on your own, Auror? I'm just one man." Mocking, he was mocking Gideon.

My voice was shaking as I relayed what Gideon said, and muffled by Neville's warm skin. He was so warm, I moved as close to him as I could, concentrating on the sound of him breathing.

"Right." I felt Neville move as he cast the spell, and then his arm came around me again, pressing me tightly against him. "So what do we do?"

"Nothing. We do... Nothing." Gideon's voice had that determined calm that a lot of Aurors seemed to get in the face of chaos. Calm, soothing. Trying to keep order.

"I need to floo the Minister." I didn't think they heard me, my words swallowed by Neville's warm skin, so I lifted my head and repeated myself.

"Right now?" Neville didn't seem too keen on the idea. "Can't you wait until someone else is here? Or I can send a Patronus?"

"Before someone leaves. It's..." I thought for a moment, my fingers digging into his skin in my effort to stay lucid. "It's just past two. It's unlikely someone would leave at this hour, but we can't take that chance. I need to talk to him, he's not likely to just quarantine the building on the word of your Patronus."

Strong fingers gripped my chin and turned me to face Gideon. "I know it's difficult right now, but I need you to trust me. I'm going to... You'll put your head in the fire, and I'm going to be right up against you, just behind you. You won't be able to see me. We'll wait until the others get here, all right?"

I didn't want him behind me. I didn't want anyone behind me. But if he was there, Greyback wouldn't be, couldn't be. I nodded. I could manage this. I had to.

"Would you feel better with clothes on?" Neville suggested. Dear Neville.

"Yes." He settled me back on the bed, and got up and went to my wardrobe. I directed him to get a pair of Muggle jeans Hermione had talked me into getting years ago. They still fit, of course. I hadn't worn them in a long time, but I wanted as much of myself covered as I could get. And I asked for a soft purple jumper. My favorite color.

When he handed me the clothing, I dressed as much as I could without leaving the safety of my duvet. I could feel Greyback watching me from the doorway. I'd felt the weight of that gaze too often, it made my skin feel like it was trying to crawl away. Being dressed helped. I never wanted to be naked in the same room as him again.

I slid off the bed to stand facing them, and my legs carried me back into the corner. I didn't want to leave the room, I couldn't. I had to. "Neville..."

"No, he can't," Gideon told me firmly, while Neville's brown eyes looked a question at me. "Adrenaline may make his body do something you very much need to not feel right now."

"Neville, Gideon is going to be behind me. Please follow me. Please." I could hear the pained desperation in my tone, and I saw Neville nod. "I need you to talk to me, Gideon. I need to know it's you."

He nodded. He stood, I watched him walk around to me. He settled himself between me and the doorway, but I could still see Greyback around him. I needed to see Greyback. "As soon as they arrive, all right?"

In just a moment, my bedroom seemed filled with bodies. Fred searched the room for me, the expression on his face a very unhappy expression. I could feel the hot tears filling my eyes at my relief in seeing him. "Well, this is no good," he observed mildly, but I could see the anger flashing in his eyes.

"Move forward," Gideon directed me, and I shuffled a couple of steps out of the corner, my feet unwilling to move. I felt him slip behind me, and my voice squeaked in protest, without my permission. I stayed where I was, though, even though I knew he was behind me. "I'm going to put my arm around you now." I felt the warm weight of his arm settle around my waist. "It's just me, sweetheart." My back came in contact with the solidness of his chest, and I fought the urge to panic. "It's just me, Greyback is over by the door. See him?"

Greyback was smiling in that unpleasant way he had, his teeth looking at me in an obscene way.

"Talk to me," I whispered again, my eyes locked on the unpleasant man in the doorway. "Let me know it's you."

I heard Gideon's steady tones in my ear, calm and soothing. "All right. We're going to go through into the sitting room. Just walk, I'm right behind you. If he doesn't move, you can just walk right through him."

Someone whimpered- me. I was as far back in my mind as I could be, and still have control of my body.

"It's all right, sweetheart. Just walk." I felt the gentle, yet insistent pressure behind me as he urged me forward. We walked together toward the door, him propelling my reluctant legs into motion.

"Oh, by all means," Greyback said with a small bow, and moved to the side for us to get through.

I fought the urge to run. He wanted me to run. He liked it when I ran, it was something he'd made me do sometimes. Instead, we walked. Measured steps, comfortable for my legs instead of Gideon's longer ones. I kept my eyes locked on Greyback as we passed, and my knees didn't want to hold me up anymore, weakened by my relief. Gideon's arm around my waist supported me, kept me upright, kept me moving forward.

We went into the sitting room, Gideon keeping up a stream of soothing words in my ear. He got me situated in front of the fireplace, and I threw in a handful of floo powder and called for the Minister's private residence before sticking my head into the green flames.

I called for him rather insistently, my voice shrill, until he came into view, looking tired and not quite as polished as he looked during the day. "Yes, Miss Lovegood?" He knelt in front of me in a black dressing gown, his face very serious.

"Minister, I need you to quarantine my building." My tone conveyed my urgent desperation. I needed him to do exactly as I said.

"I'm... Sorry?" Still muddled with sleep, he wasn't quite grasping what I was saying.

"Full quarantine. Disconnect the floo network, and we'll need to have Aurors at the door to stop anyone who tries to leave."

He looked at me evenly for a moment, and I could see his mind moving behind his dark eyes. "Miss Greengrass-"

"Took a Dreamless Sleep potion and is unavailable at this time."

"Can you tell me why?" We were permitted to share our secrets with the Minister as was needed.

"Not in a short enough length of time. Daphne will be able to tell you when she gets in to work. I'll have Neville send her a Patronus later this morning."

He stared at me for another moment, then finally nodded. "How long?"

"For the foreseeable future. Any Auror that comes here will need to stay here for the duration of the quarantine."

"Longbottom-"

"I need him in here with me."

He frowned a great frown. "Are you all right?"

"I am very much not all right. I-" I felt a large hand close over my ankle, the sensation of sharp fingernails digging into the skin exposed under the hem of my jeans. I whimpered. "I can't stay," I whispered, and pulled my head out of the fire before he could say anything else. "He's touching my ankle," I said, my voice sounding very far away. He had disappeared, and they were searching for him. "I can't have him doing that."

The pressure on my ankle eased. "Sorry, little girl." Greyback wasn't sorry at all. He was speaking from somewhere across the room now. "You were presenting yourself, and I just remembered all of that delicious time we spent together."

The thinking part of my mind knew that it was still Gideon behind me, but the feeling part of my mind didn't particularly care. I needed to be away from him. I pulled away and stood, running until I reached the corner. I sank into it, knees against my chest, arms wrapped around my knees, making myself as small as I could. I could see Neville standing there, wand held uselessly in his hand, looking entirely frustrated. And then Gideon as well, an almost identical look on his face.

"Neville," I managed from that far away place. "Aurors are going to come here. I need you to get them to set up at the front door to stop anyone who tries to leave."

"Right."

And then... And then I registered who was there with Fred. Someone who looked a lot like Gideon, and someone I'd seen before that I couldn't place. She had pink hair.

"Aurors." Greyback sounded infinitely amused. "Figures."

The witch turned to face him, and the wizard who looked like Gideon was looking at me. "Not the first time you've had that effect on a witch, little brother." His face was filled with humor, but his brown eyes were hard.

Fred came over to me and knelt down in front of me. He was distinctly unhappy- frustrated, guilty, helpless. "What can I do, love?" he asked me gently, and I just shook my head.

I heard the knock at the door, and Neville walked through to answer it. I heard voices, heard him speaking, but the words wouldn't stay in my ears. He was frustrated too, and getting more and more agitated. At last, I heard the door close, and he came back into the room. "I am going to have a word with Robards," he muttered. He walked over to where I was and sank down beside me, pulling me into his lap to cradle me against his chest. "Who else is here now?" he asked me gently.

"Fred is here." I locked my eyes on Fred's, holding his gaze like Neville was holding me.

"Well, that's good. I know you like Fred."

I smiled a small smile, but my cheeks didn't quite get there. "And Gideon's brother-"

"Fabian," the wizard who looked like Gideon supplied helpfully. His back was to Greyback, but I knew he was alert. He was watching me, in case anything happened to me.

"Fabian. And that nice pink-haired witch..." I sifted through my memories for a moment, trying to gain control over my mind. "She helped us that night in the Ministry."

"Tonks?" Neville suggested, and I nodded. "And Greyback's still here?" I nodded again. "Well, then, that's all right. You tell me when you can't see him anymore."

I was nestled against him, my ear pressed against his chest, my arms locked around him. "I will," I whispered.

Gideon came across the room to us and sat down behind me. After a moment, I felt his hand on the middle of my back. "Is this all right, sweetheart?"

I nodded. My arms were wrapped so tightly around Neville's torso that I was afraid I might hurt him, but he didn't complain, and I couldn't make myself let go.

Time crawled by. The hours between two and six hadn't gone so slowly in such a long time. Greyback stayed mostly silent. He tried to taunt Tonks about her husband, but she just looked at him evenly, and he quickly gave up. Every so often, he would make a comment to me, but the longer he stayed where he was, the better I felt. Tonks watched Greyback, Fabian watched me. Neville held me closely against him, and Fred and Gideon sat on either side of us.

Shortly after six, I had Neville send a Patronus to Daphne, letting her know who had come to my flat, who'd caused the building to be quarantined. He also sent one to Robards, and I didn't ask what he'd said. Technically, he outranked all of the other Aurors, from the sounds of things he was getting some reluctance from them accepting his new position.

Greyback noticed that I was no long quite so affected by his presence. He pushed away from the wall he was leaning again. "Thank you for your... hospitality, little girl. I've got to report in." He vanished, causing me to tense.

"I can't see him," I whispered. I felt Neville tense as well, his arms tightening around me. Fabian stilled like a cat ready to pounce, and Tonks was scanning the room. And then I felt something I hadn't felt in three years, and I screamed.

**A/N: A little more prompt this week! Thank you, everyone who's been leaving reviews! *heart* I will try and get back to you all individually, because I really appreciate it.**


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